Hey All,
Good news/bad news.
The bad news, the worst, is of course the puppy. I am going to have to let that in and feel it because I am SICK about it.
I know all the arguments and I agree with them. It doesn’t make this any easier.
Having that sweet boy in my arms all night long for over a week now has been so precious. I get very sick of the arguments that everything happens for a reason. In this case, fuck the reasons. There’s no way anyone will ever be able to convince me that this is Fair. Or a lesson. Still, it all comes down to knowing that I can’t care for him the way he deserves to be cared for. Sadly, my cats are suffering as a result of this too.
The other bad news is, I can’t get my car fixed until Friday night. But understand how grateful I am that help is on its way. So I have to figure a lot of shit out. I have to figure out how to get here tomorrow. I have put in a request to someone to pick me up at 1 PM tomorrow and bring me to my house so I can pack the puppy up and to take me out to Buffalo to drop him off.
I really hope that he can do this for me.
I have rides home both Thursday and Friday night but not rides to work. So I need to figure that out.
The good news is that a friend of mine had a good talk with me last night and she helped me prioritize these issues.
She also told me to post, asking for help.
So I did that but even before I asked for help, someone offered. Not going to go into dollar amount here, but I have enough to pay for the parts for the car and also to pay the person who’s going to fix the car.
The puppy, like I said very sadly, will be gone tomorrow.
The next thing is the bankruptcy. I cannot wait on this. Part of the massive stress I’m going through is that I am getting at least 75 phone calls a day and that doesn’t even include the texts and the emails.
So if I can get these three things behind me…Life should at least be bearable again.
I know I have been flippy, floppy about this job but I’m done.
That is the next priority.
Getting out of here. While I appreciate her directness, there is a lot of do as I say and not as I do. And she does it to all of us. I came in this morning and she had put a stack of shit on my desk, with notes about how wrong each thing was done. Some of these, when I researched them, were on her and I fucking put nasty post it notes on them telling her that.
Some of them were things like I stapled the fucking paperwork wrong. That’s her fucking OCD but nope…no accountability.
Done.
She’s been on the phone constantly with her husband and city of &$*#^, because she’s building her dream house. Yet my daughter calls me once and it’s like I launched a nuclear attack on small children.
No leading by example and I needed to come to see that and not be ok with it.
New job.
Not feeling bad about that anymore.
Thank you for showing me who you are.
I keep looking at the picture of the puppy and breaking down.
This will be the one thing I’ll never forgive myself for.
So I guess on with it.
Hope you all have a good one.
Love & Light,
Neecie