Hansel & Gretel

Hi Everyone,

Sorry for no posts. I’m crashing a little bit. Getting things done but crashing a little.

Super tired, more so than what’s normal for me.

I just do not want to get up in the morning. I just don’t. But get up I did, even took a shower. No makeup today but got here on time. All I can say is I’m really glad tomorrow is Friday. I’m coming to close to empty; you know, my own rhetorical gas tank.

Last night, I cleaned up some, did two loads of laundry. There’s always more. Laundry is the gift that keeps on giving.

My daughter is getting better and better. The big thing she’s struggling with is also tiredness. It can last a long minute.

I slept without the air on last night and I was still cold. I woke up at one point and my daughter had thrown all her covers off her, but I myself was freezing.

I probably will take a nap when I get home. I’ve been sneezing all morning…it could be allergies, a cold, or from the intense smoke that’s traveled down from the Boundary Water forest. 

Not good.

We’re baking.

Makes me think of Hansel and Gretel,

Alright I hope all of you are doing well.

Have a great day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Turning Corners

Hi Everyone,

I’m having upset tummy rumbles.

I am happy to say we’ve turned a corner. My daughter didn’t really sleep last night but that’s because she slept all day yesterday. We’ve gone from cries of pain to giggles and funny memories. 

I would say that’s a plus.

She’s still not really able to eat. I suspect that will change today. She’s still fighting off a migraine but she’s susceptible to those anyways and she hasn’t had any coffee so there’s withdrawal from that. 

I’ve been giving her Excedren (sp) Migraine for that.

But the point is…she’s on the mend.

Wow, what a weekend.

My sister came out yesterday, my son came. It made me happy to have them with me.

So I know my daughter said this was a wake up call for her but it’s been one for me too.

Your health is nothing to take for granted.

I think it’s time to stop overthinking and just do.

I’m so relieved and happy. At some point, I’ll probably cry because when something like this happens, I’m very good at detaching and just doing what needs to be done.

I could’ve lost my girl.

It looks like she’s going to be ok. So I will be ok too. But I’m still a bit in survival mode with all of this.

So like I said, I’m sure the feelings will eventually be freed up and I’ll be able to process through that.

Thanks to everyone who helped, who supported and who reached out.

I appreciate you.

Have a great Sunday!!

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

What’s Important

Hi Everyone,

Rollercoaster of a day, yesterday.

Without specifics, my daughter is sick. By the time I brought her to the ER, her temp had spiked to 103.5. 

They gave her an IV with a massive dose of antibiotics and managed also to get her fever down.

They sent us home.

My sister is coming and I’m so relieved. I…this was terrifying. Again, for reasons I won’t go into. She came close to some pretty bad outcomes.

Hopefully, she’ll be in the mend. I’m getting help with the cost of her prescriptions. This was terrifying. I’m exhausted but I don’t think I could sleep at this point anyways.

It certainly puts into perspective what’s important.

She’s not out of the woods just yet but we’re on it. My village is surrounding us. I’m grateful. 

Alright, well I’m just gonna shower and wait for my sissy.

My girl is asleep, getting some much needed rest.

Love to you all today.

Be Blessed.

Neecie

Spiders

Good Morning!

I am not feelin’ it this morning. I am so tired and just…meh.

My poor daughter is really struggling. We’re pretty sure she has a UTI. She was able to get in at Planned Parenthood for free but the only appt we could get is at 4 in Little Canada. So I have to leave work early and haul ass back home and then haul ass to the appt all in an hour.

She is having horrible back pain and so the first thing is to see if she has a UTI and then we’ll go from there. No insurance is a terrible thing.

She’s in so much pain.

So it’s not her at all, but I am just feeling overwhelmed right now.

I met with my former boss yesterday to sign and get an affidavit signed yesterday for this batshit crazy customer they had last year and she gave me a $50 gift card to Texas Roadhouse. 

I took my kiddo. 

Life happens and there is usually some good with the bad. And you can look for the things that sparkle or you can look for the things that are decrepit.

Sparkle appeals to me much more.

Yesterday, when I approached my car to go to work,  there was a perfect beautiful web going from my car to the one next to me and a big, fat spider in the middle. I felt so bad but I had to break apart her web. She scuttled under the car and I just hope she’s ok and found another, safer spot for her web.

They still terrify me but I try to live and let live now.

Spiders represent infinity, resilience and creativity. To see her and her web, is an encouragement to weave your destiny and see your dreams come to fruition.

So…I try not to fuck with them too much. They also give off mother energy.

I no longer look at them as something to fear but rather, something to respect.

I wish I could get to a place where when they are in the house, I capture them and release them instead of killing them, but I’m not there yet. But at least I try.

OK, well off to work. More of the Monday and it would seem.

I had a good talk with my son yesterday and he said some things that are very, very true. That basically it comes down to me and that I am responsible for changing my life. He didn’t say it in a mean way at all we were just talking and I love that kid.

It did my heart good to talk to him.

I hope you all have a good day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Something Very Special

Hello!!

Good Morning!

Man, my stomach is an absolute mess this morning.

But. My sister got home safely. She’s been traveling and yesterday she was on the road all day.

So I fasted yesterday until I got home. I actually made dinner for myself and I was SO full. But I managed to clean the kitchen again.

So that was good.

I just, as you know, don’t want to feel the pressure of having to clean on the weekends.

And it feels good not to just sit on the couch and do nothing.

I was so full I was sure I’d gained like 5 lbs but that was not the case at all. I lost some!!

Whatever.

I don’t want to adult today but then that’s par for the course on any given day.

I’m working on loving myself and not treating myself the way I do. I’m trying to see myself from a different perspective because it’s always what’s wrong with me and never what’s good about me.

I can’t go into the details, but someone shared something very special with me recently. Something that had been written about me that they found accidentally and basically, it was so beautiful and unexpected, and it made me cry.

I do know that some people see me from the perspective of my actions and not who I really am. But some see me and know me and love me. I think I should probably follow their lead.

All right, well I am at work and I should probably go in and see what this day has to bring me.

I hope your day is a great one.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Good Times

Hello and Good Morning!

I am currently sitting in a parking ramp because I am meeting my brother, my sister-in-law, and my niece for breakfast. They are in town for a bit of time. I am very excited to see them.

I had a great day yesterday, you guys I got so much done. Now I’ve written about the fact that when I have a good day, the next day is usually a crash day. But I have already been up, meditated, did my Wim Hoff breathing, took a quick ice cold shower, shot three videos, and went to do a grocery pick up. I also managed to get some makeup on my face for the videos.

After breakfast, there shall be more.

But I won’t Wright of those things now I’ll just let you know tomorrow how it goes.

I just want to get everything in the apartment done and feel a sense of accomplishment there and hope that that will keep me going for all that needs to come.

I haven’t been feeling as down, which is wonderful.

My sister will be home from her travels this week and I am very excited to see her as well.

And now I have to go to the bathroom so I’m going to go do that before my family arrives to the restaurant

I hope you have a good fourth, whatever you decide to do and if you decide to celebrate.

Have a great day!

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

No Choice

Good Morning!

Ugh, it’s pissing down rain again. I know it’s a good thing but driving in it is a pain in the arse. 

Ah well. I’ll appreciate how green everything is.

I was awoken by daughter who didn’t sleep last night because Starbee’s brought back the S’mores Frappuccino. So at five, off we went to get her one. My sweet, sweet girl.

Now I’m at work but early, thus this blog.

I don’t wanna adult today but I guess I have no choice. And so…I go on.

My boss is coming in today so I’ll be able to take care of some financial things. She’s changing payroll up so I am only getting two days of pay and of course I have rent due on Sunday. But she did tell me she could front me a couple hundred against my next paycheck so I need to make sure that happens. It’ll be close and I don’t know if we’re gonna make it or not but at least I’ve got a fighting chance if she does this for me.

Oh man, I’m a tired girl and I’m feeling my tummy gearing up for “go” mode so I guess I better jump in.

I hope you all have a great day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie