Heed the Warnings

Ugh,

One of my neighbors has this car with a really loud engine.

I mean…loud.

It sounds like the world is ripping in two.

I’m worried about France. They are having record breaking heat and they really don’t have air conditioning there.

It’s scary.

So, I was up a lot last night but able to go back to sleep. I was sweating and sweating and sweating. I had two hypoglycemic drops and this morning the shit show is on once again.

In full force.

In spite of the sweating, I also have goosebumps.

Clearly, I’ve caught myself a wee little bug but I’m still going into work.

I have to.

Where is Denise and what have you done with her?

Denise used any excuse she could to stay home.

No more.

Last night, I made myself dinner but my daughter offered me some Jimmy John’s so I got that and now I have food for work so that’s good but I paid for that JJs, I’m paying this morning.

Oh boy, am I paying.

Anyways, I also talked to my sissy. She’s the good stuff.

Oh Lord, I tell ya, the end of many things is coming.

I mean it.

My body is telling me all sorts of things, throwing out a lot of warnings.

So I guess it’s time to heed them. I really wish I made more money at this job. I don’t want to have to look for another one again.

And I wish there was something I could do about my lethargy in the evenings.

I mean I have good evenings but I have slug evenings too.

Anyways, this is a downer but it’s where I’m at.

Ugh!

Onwards!

I hope you all have a good day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Beast

Yigh, 

Monday. They get a bad rap, don’t they? 

My morning was horrid.

As soon as I got up, I started sobbing. Man, when it comes over me, it really comes over me.

I couldn’t stop. And my IBS? All day yesterday and two attacks this morning. And then this beautiful song didn’t even know I had, played on Spotify this morning.and I was straight up in my feels. 

There’s a scary dude by my car. I work in a scary neighborhood. Ok, he kept going.

I don’t like getting here early but I always do.

I wish I could go home.

I will say this. For the most part, we’ve had a temperate summer. Very little humidity so far. I should probably knock on wood.

I will get through this day.

I always do.

It’s not doom I’m feeling, this isn’t anxiety. It’s just sorrow.

I talked to Mom and Dad, told them how missed they are. And loved.

I’m gonna push through this day. Just because it didn’t start out so great doesn’t mean the whole day has to be a wash.

In fact, my bestie just messaged me and I’m howling!! She’s so fucking funny!!

Thanks Beast!

I hope you all have a good day.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Happy Solstice

Hello!

Oh man, oh man, oh man.

Had to shift gears from my intended to do’s already.

Didn’t sleep last night. I forgot it’s the solstice. So of course I didn’t sleep.

Happy Solstice!!

Woke up and the shit show, aka, mud bath has begun. Full on IBS attack mode. Pain, poo, doubled over puking from the pain of the cramps.

I’ll tell ya what, I knocked it out of the park yesterday. My apartment is CLEAN.

My laundry is done, folded, put away or hung up. Like…YES!

As far as my list today, because I am exhausted, I’m gonna deprioritize some of those things and just do what I can and I’ll probably take a nap at some point. I showered yesterday AM and then took my bougie bath last night but I want to shower ASAP after that attack.

Nothing like an IBS attack to make you feel dirty as a pig in mud.

I can still get things done and more importantly, I’m getting closer to what I want my weekends to be.

Soooo yeah.

Slow down, slow the pace but keep it steady Momma.

Wow. 

Just. Wow.

Golly.

Not the morning I had planned but…it can still be a morning I can make the most of.

Still a day to get things done.

Be Blessed y’all.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Focus

Good Morning Lovies,

The last two nights, I have slept like the dead.

Wow.

I find myself wanting either another Fitbit or a ring so I can know the quality of the sleep.

I still wake up very groggy but I know that’s because of the medication.

I got to talk to my niece and nephew yesterday. My sister FaceTimed me. They are so precious.

Well I said in my short yesterday that Imma start stirring shit up. Today that starts with stirring myself up. Focus on one thing at a time.

And hopefully, I’ll go to bed with the knowledge that I’m sufficiently stirred up.

Not that I’m shit but the lethargy within me, ya know?

So…one thing at a time and the day will be productive.

I hope you all have a great day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Boring Baybeh

Good Morning!

Friday at last!

My poor Grey is having issues. When I got home, she yowled at me for like an hour. She couldn’t decide what she wanted. That’s the thing with her. She takes forever to make a decision.

If she wants to get up on my lap, she’ll stand in front of me trying to figure it out. Same if she’s contemplating a jump or wants some water for the sink, she has to think about it for a long time.

My poor girl.

So I slept last night. My head hit the pillow and I didn’t wake up once until 5.

Sleep good baybeh.

I haven’t had to run the air at all this week. I’ve just had the fan in the window.

So that’ll help come bill time.

Other than that, I’m thinking it’s time to stir things up. I’m caught in this day to day and nothing changes.

Boring baybeh.

Anyways, yes, yes.

I’m going to get ready for work and be in my merry way.

I hope you all have a good day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Denise

Doable

Good Morning!

Thank God we have only one more wake up day this week. Y’girl is bored and tired and stressed and all the things.

So be it.

So no repeats of the awful pain I experienced the other day.

But I’m literally afraid to eat. I did eat though. But I was careful.

It sounds so stupid to say, “oh, I’m so proud of myself for not calling in at this job.” But if you understood my history, you’d get it.

So yeah, not once. Haven’t been late or left early either.

Do I love this job? No. Do I hate or dislike this job? No.

I’m Switzerland.

I like my boss. I like the people I work for.

It’s a doable job.

Just the pay.

I’d stay if the pay was anywhere near where I need and deserve it to be. It’s not a livable wage.

Bla bla bla, right? SSDD.

At least I’m eating much healthier. At least I’m I’m usually getting enough sleep.

My daughter and I had a really good conversation last night. She shared a lot of things with me. It makes me feel good that she feels safe sharing herself with me.

She knows I’ll be truthful but I’ll be supportive and kind too.

We are all in this journey. We are to learn and grow and figure as much as we can with the time we’ve got.

She’s got way more solid footing than I did at her age.

Proud Momma Bear here.

Anyways, time to get ready.

I hope you all have a good day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Attacked!

Hello!!

Oh my goodness, I just realized I didn’t blog today.

I’m exhausted. Not from lack of sleep but from some strange and horrific attack I had yesterday. From everything I looked up, I do believe it was a gallbladder attack. It was excruciating. Even my ulcer and gas/bloating pain/attacks felt nothing like this. It was the worst pain I’ve ever felt and lasted for two hours. I was gonna go straight to the ER from work but my daughter needed a ride to work and by the time I got home to pick her up, it was over.

But pain I’ve found, causes exhaustion and so other than making myself a very careful dinner, I didn’t do shite.

Today, I’ve been looking up foods that are high in saturated fat and from now on; small doses of that shit. I don’t EVER want to go through that again but I also found out that not eating means not enough bile and if I do have stones, it can cause them to settle and block.

Fucking horrible. 

I’ll still eat saturated fats but like I said, small doses. And I’m going to have to go to one percent milk from 2%. Some fats are good for you and so I need to keep them in my diet, but I also need to pay more attention to what kind.

Blah.

While my lunch break is over. I just wanted to check in.

I hope you are all having a great day.

Be Blessed. 

Love & Light,

Neecie