The Best Laid Plans

Happy Saturday,

Lovely to get up and slug it out a little. My phone is going to ring in 3 minutes and I’ll be having a catch up call with women I love.

Then home to finish up the cleaning, get some makeup on my face and shoot some videos and then go to a grad party. When I get back, I’m gonna go for a walk and do some yoga, take my bougie bath, pick my daughter up from work and go to bed.

Sounds like a plan!

Ah, the best laid plans, I know. 

But I’ll just meander through this, try to stay present and focused and you know, we’ll just go from there.

My brother, his wife and their daughter are coming to the States this coming week and I can’t wait to see them!!

Well I had the call, it’s lovely. So now I’m headed back to my place and gonna jump on in!!

I hope you have a great day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Beautiful Peaceful

Happy Friday!!

I’m sitting outside at my friend’s place. It’s gorgeous out. A little cool maybe but not bad.

Partly cloudy, a gentle breeze. I can hear rustle through the trees, hear the birds calling to one another.

Beautiful. Peaceful.

Sadly, I have to leave for work soon but at least it’s Friday. I’m kind of in awe of myself truth be told. I have not missed a single day of work and I have not been late once.

This is not like me but you know…money.

I’ve been super focused on just that because I can’t afford to lose another job. Or walk away, which I don’t want to. This job is done. But, you know, there are other fish to fry. There are always more fish to fry. Poor fish.

I really want to get things moving, I just have to pace myself. 

I’ll get to where I want to be. One. Step. At. A. Time.

I better get moving.

Love to you all.

I hope your day is amazing.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

More

Good Morning!

All I could think when my alarm went off this morning is that tonight, I can go to bed early. My daughter doesn’t work today. Tomorrow, I get off at 3:30. Then, thankfully, the weekend.

I’m exhausted.

I do want to finish cleaning tonight because it’d be awfully nice to sleep in if I want on Saturday.

It’s bad when all you can think about is when you can go back to bed but that’s just where I’m at today.

Geez, it’s a pooping morning too. 

I’m literally so tired that I have no thoughts.

So I don’t even know what to write about but at least I’m tired because I’m helping folks out.

And tonight, after I feed my friend’s cats, I can go home, shower and go to bed.

It’s amazing how once you start getting sleep, you kind of get addicted to it.

More. More. More.

This weekend will be good. I actually have plans though I’ll be doing it all solo.

On Saturday, I have a grad party to attend and Sunday, I’m getting my skates back on and then I’m going out to Maple Grove to see the chalk drawings. 

I want to get out and actually do some things. 

I’m at my friend’s place right now and I’m gonna give the cats some snuggles if they want them. And then off to work.

I hope you all have a good.

Be blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Mayflowah

Hello Boogalas,

I’ll have you know I have no idea what a boogala is but it sounded good so…

Anyways, I surprised myself last night by actually doing some things.

I vacuumed the apartment, I put away my clean clothes, I put away the clean dishes. 

I actually did my evening skincare routine.

I picked up my kiddo and put my ass to bed.

I’m at work now. I’ve been sleeping in because of picking the daughter up, you know, later bedtime.

We’re making it work.

I got $$ for food!

Thank you Mayflowah.

Tonight it’s more of the same; pick my daughter up, take her to work, go feed and spend some time with my friend’s cats, home, get some shit done, pick up my daughter, back to bed.

Tomorrow I’ll have to leave early to feed the cats again and then work.

Friday is coming!!

We’ll get there!

Alright, oh! In two months, I’ve gained 50 more subscribers to my YouTube channel.

If you’re one of them, thank you!!!

I better actually do some work now.

Have a good day!

Be Blessed :)

Love & Light,

Neecie

Whatever

Good Morning Boo Thangs,

How are y’all?

I’m ok. Kinda same same. I’m tired though, more than usual. Stayed up last night so I could pick up my kiddo.

I slept in and still got here in time so that’s good. I stopped by my former roomies place to pick up my debit card. It finally came.

I just want to get through this week.

It’s a busy one. My entire paycheck on Friday is already accounted for, like, what it’s going to; rent, food, gas, tabs for the car, kitty litter and the apartment utility bill.

It doesn’t end.

But the money sure fucking does.

Never ever does it end. Not until I do anyways and I’m not wanting it to. I don’t want to die, I just want the conditions I’m living in, to die.

Ugh.

I’m still in awe of the fact that we managed rent this month. Not sure how we made that happen, we didn’t borrow any $$. 

But my cig consumption is WAY down and so is the coffee.

Whatever whatever whatever.

We made it.

I’m starving. I had a protein shake yesterday. That’s it.

I’m dealing with it though.

FDT.

Just had to throw that in there.

I hope you all have a good day.

Be Blessed.

Live & Light,

Neecie

Hard Times

Good Morning,

Wow, so I had a bit of a rough night.

Lots of waking up.

I was so surprised when my alarm went off. I couldn’t believe it, ya know?

All the mean voices are starting.

You’re worthless, why try?

Bla bla bla.

I did get some money. For which I’m grateful.  I’m helping a friend out with her cats. She paid me in advance.

So the tiniest of wiggle room. I will do that in the morning and after work.

I’m also trying to help my daughter because they changed the way they do serving now at her restaurant and she used to come home with 2 to 3 hundred, she’s lucky if she breaks 150. It’s hard, hard times so I’m trying to take her in when I can. Tonight she starts at 5, so I’ll come home, pick her up and then take her in. I think I’ll be doing that all week. I may have to stay up late too to get her.

So it’s gonna be a busy one and I’m gonna have to just push through.

It’s so hard. It’s just so hard.

But I got this.

Right?!?

I got this.

The kitty duty starts Wednesday night and then I’ll be there too Thursday, Friday and Saturday morning. I won’t have to go Saturday night as my friend will be back.

I’m tired.

I didn’t hear from my mom this weekend. I usually do. She’s been calling to check on me too. I’ll call her this week.

But I got this.

Alright, I’m gonna get this party started.

I hope you all have a good day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Upward Trend

Hello Loves,

I have accomplished absolutely nothing today. I’m half fine with it though. 

I slept for…9 hrs? 10? All that fresh air yesterday and actually being somewhat social. The cure for insomnia? Maybe not a permanent cure but one that made a difference yesterday.

We are out of food. My daughter had enough to get some taquitos from Target yesterday. I had some today but yeah…no food until I get paid Friday,

Whatever.

I have milk and protein powder so…that shall suffice until Friday.

Gas is another conundrum but again…it’ll work out. 

One must see it in their mind in order to believe it.

I have just had a time of this past few months; such a deep depression. The cloud’s lifting. Lisa has really been a part of the lift; really being there with a nonjudgmental ear, holding space for me and I think Erin came back into my life at precisely the time she was supposed to and hopefully for her too. She’s checked in a few times.

Her way of telling me the things going on in her life just cracks me up and having some laughter back is so good. They’ve really been here for me. 

And I think the meds are finally kicking in. Because that deep, permeating darkness is lifting.

It’s not a major change but it’s started.

So all I can really say is I’m grateful I don’t feel like I did a month ago and maybe in another month, I’ll be able to say that about today and we’ll just hope it’s an upward trend.

That’s what I’ve got for you today.

Thank you!!

Have a good afternoon.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie