I’m so sad. So so sad. My sister’s beloved pup crossed the rainbow bridge yesterday.
My sister is heartbroken.
As are all of us who got to love her and share in her life and the joy she brought.
I got to spend time with her last weekend and I’m so happy.
All animals are special, of course, but when it’s our own or one we felt close to and loved, oh wow.
Takes your breath away.
I wonder if they even have a clue of the joy they bring.
Please send love out to my sister. I know her. I know her heart and I know it’s broken.
This kind of thing makes you feel helpless because you want to help ease the pain but there’s only time. Only time can heal and it’s an imperfect process.
Sweet Chatty you are loved. Run free through the plains of heaven. Run like the wind.
Say hello to my Fox, to Buffy and Casey and Venus and Bono and Newgie and Squeaky and Stanley and Friend and Cubby, to Qi and Presto, to Maple and Trout and Trickle and Syler.
Say hello to all our beloveds.
I feel like that’s all that matters today.
Grief.
My sister’s gentle heart.
Just send her love.
Hug your fur babies today in honor of Chatty.
She will be missed and this immeasurable loss is noted in, and will be kept, in our hearts until we are united again.
I’m in a mood. I guess we all are, all the time. It’s just different moods.
I’ve been so focused on the Christa Pike execution that I really hadn’t heard much about the whole Cornell thing. And men wonder why we’re angry. They wonder why we shut down.
Be angry ladies.
It’s ok.
We have been held back, held down, shamed, abused and manipulated since the beginning of time.
Together, we need no “protection” from men.
If you rape a woman, you get it cut off. Period. And you go to jail for the rest of your life. No parole. If you hurt a child, same.
Women commit crimes too, I’m not saying they don’t.
But we let men off easy and we say, “poor baby.”
No.
How come Christa Pike has to die for what she did but her boyfriend, who was only months younger, doesn’t?
That girl was filled with rage and I am in NO way condoning what she did but put her away for life. Let her get the help she was denied prior to her crime and let her be a mentor to women who will be released someday.
The comments I see on videos about her are so filled with misinformation, I really let it get to me. I have to stop but you know, they hit her with TWO series of shots and she’s ALIVE.
We’ve been told nothing about her condition but she’s alive. They fucked up. If she’s functional, I think she’s paid her price. Keep her locked up but let this execution bullshit go.
Ok.
The elephant in the room, of course, is Denise, what if this had been done to one of your girls? Because I would want to tear shit up and burn it down. I would’ve wanted to rip her to shreds.
I get it People.
I get it, and it is a conundrum.
I don’t have the answers.
I just know that my current experience of life and the things I’ve been through have led me to a place where I have disquiet in my heart about Christa’s journey.
I hate my job.
I’m grateful for my job. But if my boss comes at me about the whole “unreliable” thing today, I am going to tell what I think and how I feel and I’m going to tell her that just because she thinks those things, doesn’t mean they are true.
I did the thing yesterday and yes, I took the day off.
But I got the “things” done; not all of the things,
but many of the things. I also applied for 7 jobs, each of which I’m qualified
for and would be doing more of what I excel at and each pays what I need to
move out of survival mode.
I’m not post a rant about this place, you all know.
I know, you know, the Universe knows, Mom and Dad in heaven
know.
We know.
I did bring my chair massager in to work with me as it helps
with the soreness and stiffness and I’m more apt to use it here, than at home.
So yesterday.
You all know I have a list of projects? I got 6 of them done
yesterday.
I went through every shelf and every drawer of every
cabinet/closet in the kitchen, dining room and living room.
I organized the huge stack of mail I have and that prepares
me for the next step in the mail project, which is to open said mail and start
on the bankruptcy stuff.
I moved the kitty litter boxes to an accessible area so I
can clean them out easier twice a day.
And I applied for 7 jobs.
All of which pay $30 or more an hour. As far as benefits are
concerned, I’m holding out also for affordable benefits with a good deductible.
I also want two weeks vacation a year. It’s OK if I have to accrue it first
obviously, but yeah…two weeks.
The apartment is a little bit messy but I’m allowing that, I
gave myself permission to sit in that. It’s more important that I get all of
this done.
Because y’all know that cleaning…it’s what I do. So, I’ll
clean the apartment when all is said and done.
It just feels so good, having made this accomplishment.
I needed that. I hope it’s worth a day’s pay because that’s
what it cost me to do this but I was crawling out of my skin again. I have help
on this time and while it’s what “normal” people do, I am patting myself on the
back for this one.
Ok, well I have shit to take care of here.
Catch up time.
She’s gone today.
Thank you Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Lord & Lady and any
other Gods/Goddesses there are.
I needed that today.
Being treated like, and spoken to like, a child isn’t on my
top 10 list of things to do today.
Here is today’s short.
Please, please, please consider subscribing to my channel if
you don’t already. I have a goal for 2026 and I would love to make it happen.
Thanks in advance and thanks to all of you who I know
already subscribe. You my chocolate cake!!
Monday fucking Monday. Poor Monday. It seems to be the day
of the week that gets the worst rap.
It’s really not the day itself. Imagine not having to work.
Monday would be the greatest day ever, lol.
But not yet.
Here I am.
Today I am contending with the weird nerve pain I sometimes
get in my back. I’m going to have get up quite a bit at work as it will become
unbearable if I just sit here.
It hurts.
So…
I’m quitting smoking as of right now. I did smoke this
morning but I can’t stand it and I know that my health is at a standstill for
now and that it will start to go down in the opposite direction I want if I don’t
do this now.
Enough fucking around.
It’s hard, not having my friend.
But what a toxic fucking friend.
Ok, so there’s that.
I’m getting off coffee too.
Enough.
If I’m gonna be a slave to anything, let it be being
healthy.
I am praying I can find my place in the business that has to
come.
I want peace.
There is peace at the end of what I want to accomplish in
the next month but there is also peace in the middle of it and that’s where I’m
going to be if I just get through the things I want to do.
And I just pray with everything I have, that I can also end
this with a new job.
You guys, the old tapes are playing and I’m working through
them. I promise you I’m working through them but I don’t want to be here.
I don’t want to be at any job and I know that but…there’s a
lot of holding people accountable except for one here and that I’m weary of it.
I’m tired.
So, Frodo got adopted. Frodo, if you don’t recall, is the
beautiful puppy that was brought into and back out of my life.
I’m happy for him and hoping for the best. I will always
love him.
The timing was so fucking bad.
And I will carry guilt in my heart until the day I die and I
so hope that there is something after this life because I envision that little
soul meeting me or you know if I go first, sooner than I anticipate, that I
will be there when he crosses.
I miss him sleeping curled up next to me every night and I
long to have that again with another pup someday.
Now I’m sobbing at my desk again.
I have so much in front of me.
I can’t let it overwhelm me.
One thing at a time.
I want my mom.
I want my dad.
But as Samhain approaches, I need to honor them a bit more.
I just realized I have anxiety today.
It’s OK, it is what it is.
I know I want to go home, I know I don’t want to be here but
there is no choice right now.
So suck it up.
Stay as busy as is possible and then get the fuck out of
here.
Some of the stuff I wanted to get done yesterday; I can get
done here today when we’re in down time.
Well yesterday was apparently the kick of Princess KickAss, The Get’er Done Girl’s get up and go mode.
I got SO much done. Not everything because my God, there is a LOT!! But off to a great start.
Very slow this morning but gonna kick it in to high gear now.
It’s mostly errands and preparing for the week but it’s a good start.
I spent some time with my sister. It was much needed and has been to long.
Her sweet pup is changing. It was hard for me. Because I haven’t been out there, I’m sure the change was extremely dramatic. That’s not to say in any way that my sister isn’t well aware of the changes and is on top of her care. She is. Any dog would be lucky to be taken under her care and love.
It’s very, very sad. I sat with her and told her stories about the happy memories I have with her. I just want her to know she matters to me and that my life was improved by knowing her and that I love her so much.
Hard stuff.
Something funny though; It is not uncommon for me to have a visit from Pumpkin during my sleep. She often times will plop down beside me and pester me to pet her but I swear sometimes she comes up just to have some attitude.
She’ll bat at me when I pet her, she’ll non-chalantly knock shit off my night stand.
That was her mood last night.
Then she got off the bed and commenced chewing on my dresser drawers and trying to get them open.
Little menace!
But I wouldn’t have her any other way.
So I better get moving.
The first thing on the list is shopping; a bit of groceries, cat food, kitty litter, lamps (hopefully inexpensive ones) for someone who just moved and has no lights in his apartment, and one other item that’s not really a purchase.
Y’girl is in “go” mode. Princess KickAss has arrived and is gettin’er done!
Cleaned my bathroom and the kitchen. Showered and done my Wim Hof breathing.
I’ve done my AM skincare and hair care.
I’ll blog in between tasks.
I had plans for the entire day but sister texted last night and asked if I wanted to hang out.
Turns out I do.
So.
I’m just going to try and get as much done as possible before setting out to her place.
Oh. I’m doing laundry too and I anticipate that being finished, dried, put away before liftoff as well.
I plan on coming back around five, doing bougie bath and chilling out for the rest of the evening.
Although I envision Sundays someday being my relax and fun day, I have got to apply for jobs tomorrow and grocery shop and cook for the week and work in my various “projects.”
In between that, my daughter and I are gonna visit an apple orchard.
Words cannot even express how needed it is to be Friday.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
You guys, I want the puppy back. I can’t stop thinking about
him. This is horrible. He was not meant to be sitting there in a fucking
rescue. He needs his mom.
I continue to struggle over this.
I wasn’t ready before. I know that financially, I am not
ready now but he can’t just sit there.
I don’t know what to do.
I pray everyday to whatever God there might be, that this
little guy comes back to me…or finally gets adopted out.
I love him so much.
Please pray for him that he find a home.
This is awful.
Just absolutely awful.
He matters!
I pray for some kind of resolution with this, within my
heart or with him finding a good home.
Or somehow coming on enough money to move and have space for
him.
Please.
Ok, trying to put this aside.
I am starting a new VisionList as my New Year is
approaching.
And there is so much.
Please let this be a good year for me.
Please.
Please let me dig deep and find me and grow so far beyond
what I think possible.
Please give me the energy I need to move forward.
I am going to push, not obnoxiously so, but I am going
to push…please subscribe to my channel, my YouTube channel.
I’m back to doing affirmations again.
Snoop Dog!
Today’s is: My Mind is Brilliant
Well alrighty then, lol.
Sure.
There are different kinds of brilliant.
It’s all about perspective and my mind is brilliant.
