Snuggles

Good Morning!

I managed to get ready and get out the door this morning. Too early though because I’m already at work and have no means of getting in. No one is here yet.

The shining, wonderful thing about this week is that I don’t work on Friday.

For that, I am grateful.

Because I’m finding this harder and harder. But I’m making it work, because I have no choice but to make it work.

I have to make shit happen this week. I have no choice. Lots of things I have no choice but really…I do because I could choose to sit on my ass and I’m not going to do that this week.

Let’s do dis.

I miss my sister.

She’ll be home next week. I wish we were little again, I’d make her snuggle with me.

I may have something more to look forwards to family wise but I’m refraining from posting about it until I find out if it’s a good or not.

I also just want to take two trips this year. Jersey to see my fam and Washington to see my bestie.

Please please please let this happen.

There may be another one, I’m not sure. 

Have to get my passport.

But in all of this, there must also be movement forward. You know, with my life. I just feel so stuck and…well you know the deal.

I need to call my girls’ grandma. I had a dream about that their dad. I just want to make sure he’s ok.

Anyways, I’ll call her.

And I guess on with my day now.

Boss is gone for most of the week. Nice reprieve but I can’t fuck anything up. She’ll be all over that.

Gotta go. Be Blessed.

Love & Light, 

Neecie

Amazing & Wonderful

Good Morning!

Ah, I had a wonderful time last night. So much fun. I went to a wedding reception for my daughter’s best friend.

I had such a good time.

And per the norm, I’m experiencing a bit of a crash. I always do after a day of either high productivity or fun.

I honestly think this is a part of the borderline personality shit. The self sabotage peace where God forbid I have fun or do something good for myself. It’s like that internal switch goes off that says you don’t deserve this. What you accomplished doesn’t matter because it’s not enough. You basically suck. 

So today, I’m just kind of trying to say fuck you to that voice. And those mean words. If there’s something that I don’t deserve, it’s that, it’s the horrible things. My brain tells me about myself.

So yeah, just had an amazing and wonderful time.

And I’m allowing myself to take it easy today, but I am going to do a basic pick up because things got a little hectic yesterday getting ready for the reception and there’s just a little bit of a mess. I’m gonna do some laundry too.

But nothing earth shattering.

I already went and got gas for the car and gave myself a facial, just gonna do nice things for myself in between the pick up and go to bed, knowing it’s all good. All will be well and all manner of things will be well.

I hope you all have a very good day.

Be Blessed .

Love & Light,

Neecie

Vertigo Baby

Hello and How Are Ya?

I woke up with vertigo!! I went through a major bout of this about ten years ago and it was no bueno.

I’m about to shower and then I’m gonna do the neti-pot and the eppley maneuver, which I probably spelled wrong.

I’m going to a wedding reception tonight and I just really want to be able to dance and have fun as opposed to lurching about like a drunken sailor.

Ugh, I’m gonna be doing my hair and that sucks because there is a whole process to this.

I have to paint my toenails and my face and just…yay rah!

But it’ll be fun and I’ll be with both of my daughters and my son in-law.

Thinking about my sissies in Barbados. Now I kinda wish I could’ve went with them.

We shall have our time, I’m sure of it. Also thinking about my friend Wrin who is living. Believe me, if anyone knows the pain of moving…it’s Y’girl here.

The apartment stayed clean all week and for that, YES!

Success on any front is a win worth celebrating.

Alright, well I have a feeling this day is gonna go fast. We have to leave at 4 to get to the reception.

And I’ll be up late soooooo.

Ok, have a good day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Rock Stars

Good Morning Fellow Rock Stars!!

How ya doing? Happy it’s Friday? I am. Did you know that some days of the week are named after the Norse pantheon of Gods?

Thursday comes from Thor. Wednesday comes from Woden, or Odin as he’s better known. Friday comes from Freya.

Kinda cool.

On Thursday, when I’m feeling like, “Will this ever end?”, I like to play Thunderstruck by AC/DC.

Gets me all pumped up.

Yeah you guys I fucked up shit this week. I don’t mean to do this, those signals get crossed.

My boss made a HUGE issue out of the fact that I paper clipped something yesterday instead of stapling it.

There were some bigger issues than that but as much as I like her, she really shuts everyone down right away and is incapable of seeing other people’s point of view.

I don’t want to be there anymore.

Get off your old ass and fucking apply for other jobs girlfriend.

I know.

I know.

Believe me, I know.

My baby sisters are in Barbados together and they FaceTimed me. We are hilarious, the three of us. I wish I could’ve been with them but the stars were not aligned this time.

The important thing is that they are together and having a good time.

Love those girlies!!!!

Well off I go.

So far, no signs of the sickness my daughter is down with. Wedding reception tomorrow. 

Onwards!!!!

Have a great day. 

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Zombieland

Good Morning!

Oh you guys, my daughter has a cold. I just pray if I get it, it’s not until this weekend.

But I have been even more tired than usual and my stomach has been off for days now.

I’m so tired.

Wah.

I wanted to see how I slept last night with only the magnesium and it was good. I was not as groggy and foggy.

I’m gonna try and stop taking it altogether. I’ll probably take it every other night for a couple weeks and then cut back from there, etc.

It’s not addictive but it is so strong, even with cutting it in two. The pills are so tiny as it is, I can’t cut them down any less than half.

And half is what I’ve been taking every night. Zombieland for sure.

Holding pattern.

Time to go ready so I can go make the donuts.

Wah.

My boss was gone yesterday.

Another coworker told me she tends to do this. Nice for her I guess.

Seriously though, it was nice to have a day basically to myself.

Anyways, gotta go.

I hope you have a good day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Heed the Warnings

Ugh,

One of my neighbors has this car with a really loud engine.

I mean…loud.

It sounds like the world is ripping in two.

I’m worried about France. They are having record breaking heat and they really don’t have air conditioning there.

It’s scary.

So, I was up a lot last night but able to go back to sleep. I was sweating and sweating and sweating. I had two hypoglycemic drops and this morning the shit show is on once again.

In full force.

In spite of the sweating, I also have goosebumps.

Clearly, I’ve caught myself a wee little bug but I’m still going into work.

I have to.

Where is Denise and what have you done with her?

Denise used any excuse she could to stay home.

No more.

Last night, I made myself dinner but my daughter offered me some Jimmy John’s so I got that and now I have food for work so that’s good but I paid for that JJs, I’m paying this morning.

Oh boy, am I paying.

Anyways, I also talked to my sissy. She’s the good stuff.

Oh Lord, I tell ya, the end of many things is coming.

I mean it.

My body is telling me all sorts of things, throwing out a lot of warnings.

So I guess it’s time to heed them. I really wish I made more money at this job. I don’t want to have to look for another one again.

And I wish there was something I could do about my lethargy in the evenings.

I mean I have good evenings but I have slug evenings too.

Anyways, this is a downer but it’s where I’m at.

Ugh!

Onwards!

I hope you all have a good day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Beast

Yigh, 

Monday. They get a bad rap, don’t they? 

My morning was horrid.

As soon as I got up, I started sobbing. Man, when it comes over me, it really comes over me.

I couldn’t stop. And my IBS? All day yesterday and two attacks this morning. And then this beautiful song didn’t even know I had, played on Spotify this morning.and I was straight up in my feels. 

There’s a scary dude by my car. I work in a scary neighborhood. Ok, he kept going.

I don’t like getting here early but I always do.

I wish I could go home.

I will say this. For the most part, we’ve had a temperate summer. Very little humidity so far. I should probably knock on wood.

I will get through this day.

I always do.

It’s not doom I’m feeling, this isn’t anxiety. It’s just sorrow.

I talked to Mom and Dad, told them how missed they are. And loved.

I’m gonna push through this day. Just because it didn’t start out so great doesn’t mean the whole day has to be a wash.

In fact, my bestie just messaged me and I’m howling!! She’s so fucking funny!!

Thanks Beast!

I hope you all have a good day.

Love & Light,

Neecie