Ebbs & Flows

 

Good Morning!

Ah, so me thinks I didn’t blog this weekend.

I got caught up. I got things done but it was slow going. I struggle so much with just keeping going. It’s OK, I’ve given myself permission to not be in “knock it out of the park” mode for the time being.

When you have been as isolated and as sed
entary as I have become, jumping back in can be a bit daunting.

I have had several more of the breathing attacks and truth be told, I’m scared.

But all I can do, is try as hard as I can, to get healthy.

I cooked yesterday!!!

I made my chicken teriyaki, which my kids always loved so much and I made my homemade mac n cheese, which is a fam fave too.

I brought a bunch of it over to my son and ate over at his place and spent some time with him.

Love that boy so much!!

I did good this morning.

I did this short I found on Facebook, this guy brings you through some weird ass sortof exercises to get yourself going and I was so out of breath, I couldn’t finish it. I also tried to do my Wim Hof breathing stuff but it didn’t go so well.

I’m struggling with this breathing thing.

Just keep going, pushing through, etc.

I meditated too and it felt so good to be there in the candle light and the quiet.

It’s been to long.

A woman knocked on my door this morning in tears, asking if I could jump her car for her and I don’t have cables. My heart broke for her because I just went through that and it made me feel so grateful to have my son inlaw.

Because the car is running and I am mobile.

Not thrilled to be at work because per the norm, my head is full of all I want to accomplish at home.

There is always so much but I have a list.

You KNOW I have a list.

I didn’t do everything on on my list for this morning but I’m happy with what I did do.

I have to just keep trying.

Blogging at home is a part of that but it’s not the most important because I can do it here if I have to.

I’m just trying not to.

I hit one of the things on my list for today already. I called the bankruptcy attorney. Because of my emergency room and hospital stay debacle, I now have medical bills too so I need to know if it’ll cost me extra to add those to my bankruptcy.

The two big things in front of the many, many things I want to start addressing are the bankruptcy and finding another job.

So once I know if the fee will go up because of the medical bills, then I’ll borrow the money from someone, it’s not going to happen without that, and get that started.

Job search I can start immediately, but I can’t do it at work for obvious reasons.

I’ve been looking way far out west for jobs. The cost of living is so much better!!

Beautiful apartments and townhomes, with at least 600 more square feet for about what I’m paying now. And the job market is decent.

We shall see, we shall see.

Jumping ahead again and I just can’t do that.

I am also slowly making plans with people, whether it be phone calls or getting together…or any of the things.

I want to go see Practical Magick 2 this Thursday so I have to get tickets for that.

I’ve waited almost 30 years for this!!

Yay.

Obviously, I’m doing ok mentally today. That was not the case this weekend although I did push through it.

So…starting this Friday, temps will fall to the lower 70s and even down into the upper 60s and your girl will be so happy.

It’s supposed to rain on Saturday and I’m schedule to go on a walk with a friend; add boots and a raincoat to the many things I want. That won’t happen by Saturday but hoping the new Asia Mall in the old Northtown will be open for some walking. Might not be because it’ll be early. Note to self: Where can walk indoors early on a Saturday morning?

I’ve noticed a dramatic decrease in my YouTube views and I looked it up and lo behold, they changed the algorithm.

That sucks but I’m still bringing in new subscribers and for me, for now, that’s what counts. I’ll worry about views later. I am trying to change some things up but it ebbs and flows.

Alright, well here we go.

Another day is paradise.

Have a good day.

Remember, it’s Tuesday, we have less time to get to Friday and that’s a damn good thing.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie