Wish I Could Say

Good Morning,

I wish I could say I’m better but I’m not.

I will say this to anyone worried. Yes, I am having thoughts. They are not well formed. They are a wish at this point. They haven’t bloomed into an actual plan.

Because these thoughts are volatile, and have the power to cause harm and worry in those I love, I’m not going to write about it anymore.

I need help. But I have no insurance. So therapy and meds are out of the question right now.

I have to try and hold on. I’m not sure if I can but on my shorts and in these posts, I’ll try to focus on solution as much as I can.

I did write out a list of what’s to come.

Credit card payments will not be made and the phone calls will start

Loan payment will not be made and they have a lien in the car. I don’t know how long it will take them to repo it.

Rent will not get paid for June and we’ll be evicted and out by end of June.

So there it is in black and white.

My whole life going down the toilet in 3 sentences. 

I am so disappointed in Stevie Nicks. I’ve loved her my whole life. 

She debuted at the Met Gala. Why? She never seems like one of those kinds of people.

I literally feel like I got betrayed by my sister or something.

My interview got pushed to today at 12:30 so I have to get ready for that and somehow try to act like a normal human being and not start bawling and beg them for this job. I know that they interviewed a ton of people. I’m old, I don’t have money to get my hair done so all my gray roots are showing and I have an ugly yellow tooth. Yeah, good luck with that. 

Onwards!

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie