Clearly

 

Good Morning!

Well…I did not feel well at all yesterday. I got home at about 4:30, got into bed and went to sleep. I got up briefly at one point and it was dark out. My daughter had cuddled up to me at one point but then she came in to tell me she’d be at her bestie’s for the night.

And I went back to sleep.

I was in bed for almost 13 hours.

I would say something has to give because what I’m doing?  It’s not working.

Clearly (said in my finest British accent).

We all know this.

I’m not in the mood for Debbie Downer shit today.

Cuz we all know y’girl’s sob story.

You know, with the VisionList for this year, I tentatively put in obtaining 1000 YouTube Subscribers to my list of goals and it’s funny; I don’ treat it with my usual insanity and obsessing and “have to do this attitude.” I just do it most mornings, shoot my shorts. I have been abysmal at shooting long form, but even so…holy shit, I’m over 800. This could actually happen.

I’m so excited to hit 1K because monetary things can begin at that point; nothing that will make a huge difference in the beginning, just the possibility.

I like possibility.

Possible means hope.

God, I do not want to be here today. I need to clean. I always clean the office on Fridays; sweep, mop, clean the women’s bathroom. I do the men’s too but not in to great detail because…ewwww. Provide me a mask and gloves and I’m in.

The women’s bathroom? That’s me and my boss only. Like…she’s clean. I’m good.

Sigh.

But yeah, I’m trying to rock it out at work this morning so I can coast the rest of the day. I’m hyper, that’s not necessarily always a good thing. Not happy, just hyper.

I am trying also to decide if I want to go to my 45^th reunion. There are some I’d like to see and some…yeah, I could care less.

But maybe?

If, somehow, I can dig deep and get a shit-ton done this weekend, then I am going to start on this healing journey…at least the physical part ya know? It’s time.

All’s I really know, is that the way things are, they are not working for me. I’m lethargic, depressed, tired and seemingly uncapable of experiencing joy.

I will experience joy tonight because I am going to drop some things off that I bought for my new grandpup.

And I’ll get to see him.

I still don’t know his name, lol.

Ok, well, on with it as they say.

I hope y’all have a great Friday.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie