Don't Even Know...WTF

Hello…

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

I got nothing and at the same time, I got everything.

My car got repoed.

I called the attorney and he said that to get it back, I will have to pay the value of the car, which is around 6K.

So the car is gone for good and I need to pay the attorney immediately so garnishments don’t begin.

I am not going to lie. I want to quit this job. I want to walk the fuck out now. I hate this job. I can’t stand my boss. She’s consumed with herself and has no boundaries in how she treats other people.

And you know, oh my God, I am not one to take shit but not only have I taken it from this horrorshow of a woman, I have eaten it.

I’m eating shit.

Everyday.

Fuck this.

I want my mom. I do, I want my mom.

But she went to heaven.

So did my dad.

And here I am. And I am completely overwhelmed and have no idea what the right thing to do is.

My boss humiliated and degraded me yesterday. I have to get out of here.

At some point, doesn’t this have to balance out? Can the Universe be done picking on me for awhile? Go pick on someone who deserves it.

I called the cops to find out if I had to report the car just in case it was stolen and they actually were able to confirm that it was the loan company.

So fuck them.

I get it.

I’m not mad at the loan company, I’m mad at myself.

I just…I make shit for money. How the fuck am I supposed to pay the attorney when I have NO MONEY?

I have been circling the drain for so long and just fucking holding on in each situation and I can see the end goal, it’s right there but I can’t fucking get there because the current pulling me under is to fucking strong.

I want to quit. I want to just grab my purse and walk out of here right now. I don’t even care if it’s the fucking hood. I want to start walking and just walk somewhere…anywhere.

I don’t want to be here.

My heart is pounding, I want to throat punch someone (my boss preferably) and just fly. Just fly.

I don’t want to work for someone who is no empathy in her whatsoever. She bitches about her stepdaughter who is autistic all the time and it’s fucking cruel.

But I pretend to be supportive.

You can’t say anything to my boss. She overrides you. She’s awful.

Please God, get me OUT of here.

I DON’T want to be here anymore.

I don’t know what else to say. I got nothing but ick that wants to come out.

If I get through this day without walking out of here permanently, it will be nothing short of a  miracle. My boss is going to be in late this morning and she better keep her fat fucking yap shut.

At this point, I’m fine with going to jail. It would be worth it to clock the bitch.

Ok…ok.

I’m out.

Be Blessed.

Seriously, be blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie