Comfort in the Quiet

Good Morning,

So much for getting up at 5. I got up at 8 and that's fine...it's whatever. I have a hard time getting up when it's dark out.

Getting older for me, has meant that I don't appreciate night as I once did. I used to prefer it to day.

I think it makes me feel afraid.

Anyways, I was down for the count yesterday but today I intend to go hard. And I will have a list for tomorrow but it will be greatly dumbed down.

Because I know how I am and for now, I do need to work somewhat within those parameters before I can really start to push myself. And I have always had a great day, followed by a "fall" day, meaning I fall down dead and don't do shit.

I want to do shit but it's going to have to be easier.

I'm doing things in cycles today; clean something, apply for a job, work on a project, eat something, exercise, shower, rinse, repeat.

As far as exercising goes right now, it's super simple because I just have to get used to moving again. Y'girl been lazy.

All I know is enough. Enough of the horrid thoughts racing through my head, enough of giving into fear. 

I am so tired but I have to start pushing through that.

So here we are and it's a gorgeous day and I have lots of time to finish what I want to finish today.

I can only try to make right now count, and staying busy helps keep me sane. Someday, I know, I will find comfort in the quiet but not until I learn to quiet the voices in my head that are always, always, there.

So, I hope you all have a good day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie