Wednesday already.
I had a very productive day yesterday. I pooped out at about 2:30, took a nap, woke up and went right back to it.
But there were, naturally, things that didn’t get done. So those have been moved to priority level.
And as soon as this entry is done, I will start at those tasks.
A lot of what I have to do today involves sitting at my computer so I skipped my morning walk and will be doing everything later. A long walk, because I have to go to target and the bank.
Not having a car is getting to me but I’ve probably faced more about myself and how I am than ever before.
When you have all this time on your hands, it’s sortof inevitable that you’ll be in your head.
And if I’m going to be there, it should be a positive experience.
Not the rumination and self flagellation; oh yes, I’ve done some of that but it serves no purpose, except to take me even further down and I don’t need that. How far down can one go?
I really don’t want to find out.
And so…here I am.
I know that my mental health “stuff” is real but I have to believe that some of it is learned, some of it is habit and since I’m without insurance, doesn’t it make sense to try and create new habits as much as possible?
Even therapy requires effort; talking, learning, trying new things.
Today, I’m trying not to pick. Just for one day. I’m trying to notice triggers, notice when my hands start traveling towards my wounds.
Again, so much of this is habit.
I know that’s not the end all answer but it’s something.
And so we begin today; I’ve meditated, done Wim Hof, I’m dressed and drinking my protein shake. I’ve had a glass of water and I uploaded my daily short.
That’s more than I did yesterday.
Oh! And I slept last night.
I don’t even recall waking up during my sleep, though I’m sure I did at some point.
So I wish for you, a day full of favor as that is what I’d want for myself.
Be Blessed.
Love & Light,
Neecie
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