Got Me Some Groceries

 

Hi Everyone,

Well. Here I am, determined to get a little bit of a lot done today.

So far, so good.

I have a list and I'm paying attention to my thoughts and actions as I move through this day. When I avoid doing the things I know I should be doing, what is going through my head if anything at all?

I'm not finding much at all. I honestly think it's the self-sabotage thing and the message I've always given myself that I'm not worth it, or why try, or it's easier to just give in and do nothing meaningful...

Why I feel those things doesn't matter. They have become habit and that's what matters.

So today, it's been little pushes. Don't overthink anything, just count to 3 and go. 
And the things that I do manage to do? I'm telling myself it's good, I can accomplish things and I deserve to accomplish things just like everyone else does.

I went on a walk, I went and got gas and went to the grocery store. Santa came and he gave me a gift card to Target. I spent it on the omeprazole for my tummy because I was out and it started hurting me again. The rest I spent on food. I cannot tell you how good it felt to be able to get enough for a few actual meals, not just one or two things and hoping we can stretch it out. Santa also brought a huge ass thing of the good toilet paper. LMAO, Santa knows me oh so well. I've been grateful for that toilet paper today, because...well...if you know, you know. Yup, bad morning for me bowel.

I'm finding it hard to stay off of my phone. I don't think that's a unique thing. I think we all spend way to much time on our phones.

So I have to keep reminding myself to stay off of it, put it back down.

I'm going to do some job search now and I'll be back tomorrow. I know I don't really do this to much anymore, writing out my list of to do's on here and I'm going to try and continue with that because how much I get done is not as important as the fact that I get anything done. 

I have some goals and I'll simply let you know tomorrow if I make them, if don't, I'll look at why and talk about solutions.

Deep breath in. 
Exhale slowly.

I hope you all have an amazing day.

Be Blessed.

Love & :ight,

Neecie