Weird Dinner

Hi guys,

Sadly, I did not get a lot of sleep last night, just under four hours and so I just made myself something to eat and I’m so full. I’m like a slug on the couch.

Yesterday was really good. I got the house cleaned up and my sister came out. She took me out to dinner and then we went to target, I thought she needed things for herself, but she ended up buying me two bras and some underwear. Now I’m crying because I’m so grateful. Bras and underwear may not be a big deal to some people, but I struggle so much with feeling good about myself, especially because I have found myself in this situation that I am currently in yet again. It can be hard. My sister says don’t beat yourself up, you can’t go back. She’s right, it’s done. I’m just really trying to really let this in this time and feel it, it’s so hard because I still have other addictions in place that I haven’t given up. I’m talking about cigarettes obviously. But I am working on just putting it behind me and moving forward And so someone doing what may seem like a little thing like getting someone some bras and underwear is actually a huge thing because it makes me feel more normal. Because I really needed some bras and underwear and I can’t get them for myself right now. And she didn’t make a big production out of it, it was just you need this let’s get this. I’m really grateful.

I hope I can do nice things for her someday. I used to take things like this for granted and now I am processing through feeling ashamed and letting that go and just focusing on the now and being grateful.

We came back here and hung out a little bit. She left and shortly after, I went to pick up my daughter.

And today I am just really tired.

I made this weird dinner. I had some ground turkey so I cooked that and I added Lipton soup mix to it. I cooked up rice and I always cook my rice in chicken broth as opposed to water because it just makes the flavor so amazing. I stirred that all together and added sour cream and I know it sounds bizarre but oh my God it’s good. Incredibly filling.

My sister took me out for dinner yesterday and I got the salad that I just love. So there was food. I have eggs and flour and am planning on making waffles tomorrow as that just sounds good.

Then we’ll have to figure something out. 

I’m ok though. I’m good today, just tired.

I hope you are all enjoying your weekend.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie