Cardinals

Good Morning!

Boy, waking up for me is a trip lately. I just never know how I’m gonna feel.

Today isn’t dark but I can’t stop crying. My mom, bio mom, called me and as I was talking to her, a cardinal pair landed right by me; male and female and the ironic thing is that you know, I’d had a dream about Dad not to long ago and he was saying in the dream that there was a plan for me. You know, the dreams of mom got me through so much about a year and a half ago so I believed when I had the dream about Dad, that things would be ok but I lost faith in that relatively quickly and I had literally just said to both mom and dad, “ I need something more, I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do.” And I go outside and there they are.

I still don’t know what to do but at least it gave me some peace.

I’ve got my beautiful Grey sitting on my lap purring away.

She’s so skinny. I can feel her bones as I pet her. I love her so much. I’m her person and I’ve never had an animal so bonded to me though I’ve felt loved by my sister’s dog Chatty and of course, Trout, who I honestly felt was my grandson.

I guess today I’m gonna mash it all up; some cleaning, making cupcakes for my daughter’s birthday/housewarming party tomorrow. Job search. Tears if necessary but then get up and keep it going.

Remember the video No More Tears by Ozzy? She fills the room with her tears. I do believe that’s possible now.

But…as far as I know, my cats can’t swim and it would damage my things so perhaps just keep going.

Alright. On with it already.

I hope you have a good day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie