Ulcer?

Hi Everyone,

I have been through it in the past 8 hours or so.

I stopped taking my omeprazole last week because I didn’t want to use a credit card to get more and that was my first mistake.

Pain within a few days. So I got some and started feeling better but not “normal” better. 

And then yesterday, well it was Monday and Monday’s at work are horrid and they brought in all this food for the 20 year anniversary of the place and I went to town. Let’s just shove all this stress down with food, cover it up with carbs and sugar and cheap pizza. I felt bloated at work but ok. 

Same at night.

The most intense pain woke me up around midnight.

Excruciating.

The only reason I don’t go to the hospital was the money. No insurance.

I took like 4 omeprazole and slowly started feeling better. I’m light headed this morning.

I did speak to a doctor at my usual clinic and they said I’ll probably have to have another endoscopy.

No insurance.

Anyways, I’m going to try and drastically change some things and see if that helps first.

If I drop dead in the process, I drop dead. I don’t want to die but I also can’t go on like this.

I’m miserable.

I’m sad.

I feel like my heart broke somewhere in all of this. Disappointment in myself and how my life has turned out, frustration that I’ve made no progress.

For now, I’m going back to bed. When I get up, I’ll come up with a plan.

No I didn’t quit my job.

Back to the hell hole tomorrow.

If I don’t drop dead.

Ha!

Just my mood today.

But I hope all of you have a good day.

I hope you are blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie