Selfish Fertilizer

 

Hi Everyone,

I suppose a Happy Easter is in order. Today feels to me much like any other Sunday as it's something I don't practice.

But I am excited to know that there are probaly millions of little kids doing easter egg hunts, waking up to baskets full of the good stuff.

I remember Mom having us make nests out of our clothes and we'd wake up, run downstairs and there would be a basket for each of us in our nest.

I miss those times.

I miss dying easter eggs as well.

At any rate, yes, Happy Easter.

I had a day yesterday.

Rather than write out specifics, I want to just say this; I can have all the plans in the world but the world does not stop just because I do. The world will throw in wrenches.

And I was pissed off about it yesterday. I struggled with the pissed offedness of it all.

I really did.

Because it kept me from staying on task and I woke up ready to go yesterday.

But I thought this through; one, it's OK to be selfish here because I am trying to shoot for consistency, accountability and a shot at going for my dream.

I realized yesterday, that Saturdays will require me to shut off my phone. Once I get a part time job, I'll be working the first part of the morning and then a bit into the afternoon and the rest of my Saturday? Videos and bath products. It's the only way I'm going to get shit done and still have my Sunday's to play or relax or cook or what have you.

Maybe I will actually put my phone on do not disturb because that way, my family can still get through.

The fun stuff needs to happen on Sundays. 

And it's OK to insist upon that and to be selfish about it. And to limit calls to 30 minutes because my rest day needs to be relaxing and/or fun so....

I love my people, I do, but I need to put myself first on some plane of existence if I'm going to get through what I'm realizing that in spite of a great deal of gratitude will kill me if I think of it in terms that I'll be doing this for the rest of my life.

No.

So selfishness is in order and I'm down.

And I'm not going to "announce it on FB". None of my friends take that into account anyway. People will start to figure it out.

Today, I incorporate both STOP and Just Do It...

Comes down to STOP the stupid shit, just do the important shit.

It's all shit but some shit is productive and some is dia-fucking-rrhea.

Some shit is fertilizer and promotes growth and some of it turns your fucking grass orange.

Alright, I've allowed myself a chill. peaceful morning but now I jump in and we shall just see.

I hope you all have a great day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie