Spaceship Outta Here

Oh you guys. No good morning for me.

My back.

This has never lasted this long. I kind of want to roll over and die right now. 

I can’t.

Where is tough, strong Denise? Where is Denise Motherfucking Johnson?

I don’t know man, she took the first spaceship outta here.

Cant say I blame her.

Not at all.

Ok.

Well in spite of this current conundrum, I did get some things done yesterday. It’s extremely hard to concentrate when I’m in pain but I did apply for a job. 

I did shoot two long form videos.

I did make myself some food and clean up after myself. 

I managed a shower.

Like nothing earth shattering here but I fucking did something.

The ol’ effin-heimer comes out WAY more when I’m in pain. 

No apologies. We all know I swear like a motherfucker and I’m not about to stop now.

I finally called a chiropractor, I cannot afford this. Can the Universe fucking stop throwing me things that cost money? This is not living, it’s not even surviving.

One good piece of news is someone I know haas something for the pain. It’s a prescription. So I know it’s safe. But I don’t blame people for seeking out relief however they can. 

Addiction is real. But I just wish this country had better insurance and I wish doctors were more prone to finding solutions, like getting to the root of the problem but giving you something in the interim.

No one should have to live with constant pain. This sucks. My little back problem hopefully is only temporary. I’ll get through this. I just am hoping that with the medication, I’ll finally be able to relax enough that maybe whatever this is, will have a chance to heal itself.

Fingers crossed. I’m not at all ashamed to admit that tonight and tomorrow at least, I won’t have pain.

Alright, I gotta go. 

Be Blessed Loves.

Love and Light,

Neecie