Better Off Without Them

Hi There,

Only Tuesday. Ok.

Even though this is my last week at work, Friday feels hundreds of years away. 

I haven't been wearing my fitbit, it's been weeks now. And I think I'm better for it. The only thing I'm worried about is my blood pressure but I'll figure that out soon enough. The Fitbit didn't track that anyways. It did measure my resting heart rate and I'm not sure if I want to track that because it was freaking me out. Going up again.

The point is that, all these things I'm attached to, all these ritualistic things...I feel like I need them but then I let go and I find out I don't need them at all. In fact, I'm just fine or better off, without them.

Now if I could just apply that to the smoking.

So. The back pain? I am sitting here pain free at the moment. I took two painkillers last night and they knocked me out but what I'm hoping happened, is that I was able to relax enough for it to "unlock" itself from whatever had it wound so tight.

We shall see as the day goes on. 

I just hope that's the case.

Oh, and the painkillers? I could never be an addict to those things. While the relief from pain and the floating was nice, I did get sick in the middle of the night. My tum just can't handle opiates and never has been able to.

I have one left, let's hope I don't need it. There's no way I can take it at work. I'm too much of a lightweight.

So I have another long form video uploading. I won't post the video until noon or so today. But there will be a gratitude short this morning.

I am trying really hard to stay in today and to be grateful and let that be my truth. Because fear is a bitch and she's a formidable one and this girl does not feel like fighting anymore.

So aligning myself with what is and finding gratitude is everything.

Alright, well I was too out of it to shower last night, so I'm gonna go do that quick and be on my way. 

I hope you all have a great day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie