Positivity and Opportunity

 

Good Morning,

Oh you guys, I am deflated as an MF.

It goes beyond tired. I continue to vacillate. Take the prescribed meds or not. 

At what point do you throw in the towel? 

Having been off the hydroxyzine for about a month or more and then starting up again, I realize that they are what make my mornings hard because I was getting through OK.

And now...man. I've been on them for a little over a week and at first, sleep and it was great. Now, for the most part, sleep but waking up like a zombie woman and on the verge of tears.

So I think at this point, I can say with impunity that these are the enemy when it comes to morning blues.

Without them, less sleep, but a rather calm sense of life and contentedness and with them...more sleep but definite grogginess and depression.

Seems like an easy choice but in all honesty, I will probably take them again until they're gone and then just be done for good.

At some point, you throw in the towel and you say, this is something I have to accept and learn to deal with. 

And I know, having had some nice days, that the depression isn't all me, there are things that add to it and I do think this particular drug is one of them.

It's also hard to train myself and stay consistent with the bedtime ritual.

I have to.

I mean, if I want a shot at getting better sleep without all this bullshit, I have to stay consistent.

I had a good day at work yesterday, I am worried about today because I have that exhausted tired going through me, the kind that clings to you on the inside too. And I'm usually worthless when I'm like that so today will require some effort.

But.

I can do it.

And tonight, permission to just take a shower, clean up a bit and then relax until bedtime.

I have to learn that it's OK to shut down the show when I need to.

This week's affirmation is, "I attract positivity and opportunities effortlessly."

We are not to the effortlessly part yet. 

But I can get there and I will.

The positives this morning are that I have time to get ready and be to work on time. I have my bills paid and things are running smoothly.

Opportunities may not look like I want them to today but today is an opportunity to prove myself that I can. The opposite doesn't exist for me.

So that's what I've got.

Here's yesterday's short:

I hope you all have a great day. Be positive and you will attract the same. Look at everything as an opportunity and accept it as such. It's easier to align yourself with the flow as opposed to going against it.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie