Ghengis

 

Good Morning,

I woke up at 2:20 or so and was up so I got up for about 15 minutes and then I laid back down and just kept deep breathing and focusing on my breath and thank God, I went back to sleep.

You know what? Day 2 with only my pink drink. No hydroxyzine and no edibles and I'm feeling better already. 

Maybe not as much sleep but mentally, better. Not groggy, not overly tired, not sad and depressed.

So I guess the hydroxyzine is out unless I go for two nights in a row with bad sleep, then I'll take it, just to get caught back up.

You guys, allow me not a moment of arrogance or the wrong kind of pride but a moment of patting myself on the back.

I got through the car thing on my own. At my age, you may be thinking well duh! But this is not me, not the me I used to be anyways.

Now, I had to dig into rent to do it but we'll figure that out too.

I know we will. In fact, let me write this quick then I gotta go cuz my car is fixed and I can get my ass to work today!!!! 

I have had a dream for a long, long time. You all know that dream.

Maybe this is where I start and it looks nothing like I want it to but maybe I make a fuck ton of bath bombs and whatever products I am able to otherwise and maybe that's where this starts. Because I'm open and that shit just came to me.

I had a dream that I was walking and there was this map and it was marking in red the route I took as I took it and red is the color of vitality and love and passion.

Maybe the route I've been trying to take all these years wasn't marked in red, maybe this is me being up to being led, open to whatever this can look like instead of having my OCD/ritualistic it has to be this way or no way.

I'm crying now because I think I'm right.

Anyways, I'm gonna go for it this weekend. 

I hope you guys have an amazing day. We all deserve that so much.

I had something really happy to me last night but I think I'll hold that one in my heart.

Alright, well, I'm out of here. Today is my day to go forth and conquer.

I've been watching a documentary on Genghis Kahn, I find Asian history so amazing but it also sortof inspires me.

Man is both shitty and wonderful, beautiful and horrifically ugly all at once.

Have a beautiful day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie