No Cataclysms Here?

Hello,

Oh my god, today has been interesting. I'm posting tonight and will post tomorrow morning, which will be today to you, the faithful reader.

I don't even know where to start. There were no cataclysms but there were definitely...I mean, it's a full moon and there is going to be an eclipse to boot.

So weird fucking shit happens.

So I handled the situation at this job I'm currently at, or thought I had, when the owner came in. There are 3 of these schools and two of them are in North Dakota. So the owner lives up there.

He's down here on a regular basis though.

I have never met such a direct person. Literally. Never.

He wasn't an ass though, which makes it weird. He sat down and started throwing questions at me and I know it's because he was told about the phone call my recruiter had with the two people who brought me on, yesterday.

He sits down, and he's like, "so tell me about how you found this job. Did the recruiter just throw it out there and you said yes because you need a job? What are you looking for exactly? What didn't you get about this job? Are you really thinking about becoming one of our employees, because if you're not, why are you wasting our time? If you're thinking about it, how long until you know? Again, it makes sense for us to keep you here while we're looking to fill the position but I think we can do that relatively quickly."

He wanted resolution and he wanted an answer right there so I basically said, "Look, the job appealed to me based on what I was told it would be" and he asked me, "what were you told exactly? Did you not understand or was it not made clear that sales is like at least 50% of this job? It's a big deal, it's how we bring people in. And I hold people accountable for their numbers."

I mean, he literally fired question after question at me.

I know that sounds harsh, but think about it. God, I have fucking changed so much. It's his company. He's proud of it. It's his living. He honestly is not an asshole. Denise now could literally see where he is coming from and not taking this as an attack or taking it personally. I flat out told him thank you for your honesty and I too, believe in transparency. I told him the truth. No, sales was never mentioned. I told him I don't think it was intentional but that's how this played out. I told him that I was willing to give this a try based on what I was told, based on the fact that I was also told that companies generally hire you on at a higher wage than what the staffing company does but that for me, even if I ended up loving the position, benefits are a really big deal for me.

He didn't play. I do feel like he heard me though and I do feel like he came out of that conversation with respect for me because I laid out my cards and I didn't fall apart at his inquisition of me. I could feel my face getting red at first, because I don't think most people in this day and age are used to that style of communication but I appreciated it so much because I kind of feel that my recruiter was bullshitting me and that she was playing both sides, emphasis on the word playing. And he knew that too. Thus, respect for my honesty and transparency.

And then, we all got taken out to lunch and I was included in that and he wasn't a jerk to me at all during lunch. 

So, I'll work tomorrow and I'll attempt the sales calls Monday but guys...yeah, I don't think it's gonna fly. Part of me is going to the why me part of things. I was doing so good, the first job was amazing and I just assumed this one would be too. 

My sister reminded me that Mom has a plan because I so firmly believe she's here with me and helping in any way she can from where she resides now and it's messages I recieve when I sleep, ya know? These dreams I've had are highly symbolic and I've been doing dream analysis for so long and then I do have a good intuition to bring to that too and so...I know what her messages have been, because she doesn't come right out and say them.

Anyways, self-pity feels wonderful, it really does but it serves no purpose whatsoever. Still, it's human so I allowed myself a bit of it but I need a job. A permanent fucking job. With good benefits.

Bottom line.

Then, we have a leak in our apartment, underneath the kitchen sink and it's not the end of the fucking world but it means staying up late to clean because fucking maintenance will be in here tomorrow and I have to hope the 3rd cat situation isn't discovered.

I'm not taking Pumps out this time. Fuck that. If they give us a lease violation, they give us a lease violation. I won't get rid of her.

Fuck 'em.

I could write more but it's 10:30 and I have yet to clean the kitchen so here I go. 

I wanted to write now because I won't get enough sleep tonight and I wouldn't have time to post because I'm going to set my alarm for as late as possible.

Well now today really is today. Oh. The dream I had. I had a house that was flooding. It was my house, makes sense because of our sink, reality spilling into the subconcious. But then it was my sister's house, although it looked nothing like her house. And we weren't sure if it was my fault or not and I would try to clean up one area just to have another start flooding.

It was not a good dream.

Overwhelmed? Yes. And I don't want all my shit to affect anyone else. 

I just want a job, a permanent job.

I can't take this job, especially after this man showed his cards and I can't fuck people over like that, I would be looking for something else.

I have to go. But I'm sick. I'm just really, really sick. Because of this situation.

No more floods, please, one person can only take so much.

Y'all wonnaful.

Thank you for that.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie