L Stands For…

Good Morning,

I am beyond despondent.

Guys, I don’t know if I can do this anymore. It’s too much. 

Failure. Failure. Failure.

I’m so sad. And so in pain. My back is awful.

I’m getting ready to go back to the apartment to pack what’s left, which is very little and to attempt to clean.

I don’t want to. I want to go back to bed and pretend none of this happened.

I see only one way out.

And I know that’s not good. I just…I’ve been ready for change but the Universe just won’t get on board with me. I need one last miracle. I just need a car.

Just a car. I can’t keep going like this.

I can’t do it.

I have what it takes to withstand almost anything but everyday, what little self worth I have left dwindles.

Not being able to run simple errands is killing me. Not being able to afford to Uber to appointments, interviews…it’s killing me.

I feel like such a loser.

Such a loser.

Might as well stick a big L on my forehead.

I’m sorry for such a downer blog. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Be Blessed.

Neecie