Aw, you guys, thank you for the support over on YouTube of late.
It's been a long haul with my channel and to finally be receiving some love over there, it's everything.
I had so hoped to be able to report that I got everything done yesterday but in reality, the day just went to fast.
So we will try again today. The important thing with goals and dreams is not to give up. And it's true that while my battery slows down, it doesn't give out completely. And I'm back at it.
You know, I'll just report back tomorrow.
I'm OK. Just eager for all the changes I want to make to come into fruition and to see change in my life around me as another result.
My Auntie is coming this Friday.
Everything needs to be finished by Thursday night.
I just realized something. I've been struggling with my get up and go again and I think it's partly, I mean it always is but maybe a bit more so this past week, because I finally got some nails. This is not a vanity thing for me, this is about the dermatillomania. As gross as it is, this condition, I cannot do it with fake nails because the acrylic makes them too thick to do too much damage so I don't get the payoff.
And believe me when I tell you that destroying myself in this manner is one of my rituals, it is. It's a ritual and now it's gone and I'm deflating a bit. Hmmm, makes perfect sense.
The only thing I can do is keep on keeping on. They are healing, my ouches. I will need to put makeup on them if I want to show my arms but whatever, scars fade.
And as ugly as they are, they show struggle, they show pain and low self worth. They are a testament to what I've gone through.
Anyhoo, I'm OK and that's what counts.
So carry on lil' wayard soldier. I shall.
Have a great Sunday.
Be Blessed.
Love & Light,
Neecie
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