Inertia

 

Good Morning,

I don't have a lot to say. I flaked this weekend. I didn't get shit done. I'm so mad at myself.

You know, I do think the meds are somewhat to blame. I wanted to take them once a week, on Friday, to ensure at least one good night's sleep but they fuck me up for at least two days.

It's over. I won't flush them down the toilet but I am going to just throw them out.

Sleep be damned. And honestly, I was doing ok last week without them and the week before. Not great but OK.

At some point, you have to start thinking and just do.

I have been having dreams too. Vivid ass dreams. 

They aren't nightmares but they aren't charming either. I literally was screaming at my daughter in my sleep Friday night and she heard me and she knew the dream was about her. I felt so bad.

I was overwhelmed in the dream and frustrated. She had put taco meet all over the apartment, huge piles of it and it looked like poop.

What the fuck man?

Anyways, yeah, just not good this morning.

Do. No thinking, no trying. Do.

I'm just over where things are right now. Yes, they are better but I've been at a standstill again and I'm done.

There needs to be movement and inertia can only come by design or by out of my hands shit.

There you have it for today.

Bla.

I'm OK.

I hope your day is a great one.

Love & Light,

Neecie