Whew! What a day I had yesterday. Man.
Ok, so I took this amped up proton pump inhibitor for like...acid reflux. I don't get heartburn or anything like that but I'm susceptible to ulcers so I have to take that stuff...but historically, I really don't.
There's an over the counter, prilosec and it's real name is omeprazole. This prescription I got was that times about 10.
Ummm, no.
Never again.
I had my first official panic attack yesterday. I have thought in the past that I was having one but nothing like this has ever happened to me before.
I felt like I couldn't breath, my heart was racing and pounding. I wanted to scream to escape the fear that took over me. It was awful.
So then I looked at the side effects. Panic attacks are not one of them but...I looked the medication up and review after review stated that people went into panic, went to the hospital, got off of the stuff and are still fucked up.
Like I said, never again.
But also, the side effects that it is known to cause? Yeah, Lupus, osteoporosis, total depletion of B12 and D, along with some others.
Again...no.
I am going to have to start being very, very careful about what I eat.
And just, for the love of the Gods, be healthy.
I have to take care of myself.
I'm still waiting to get back results on one of the tests, I made my CT appointments for next Wednesday. The only remaining one to make is the sleep study but I don't know if I want to do all that.
I hardly slept last night but you know, a couple things. I always wake up around 2 and I wish there was something fast acting but that had a fast lifespan too because if I were to take a hydroxyzine at two in the morning, I wouldn't wake up until 9 or so and I'd be groggy and just awful.
I didn't take any hydroxyzine last night. I won't take it for days in a row because of the effect it has on me emotionally.
I don't think I'll take it tonight either. I'd rather get a good night's sleep on Friday into Saturday.
But as I get older, I want to be away from home less and less.
Once in awhile is fine but not to go sleep in some clinic and have them give me weird drugs to try and then have to get up and go to work.
Um, no.
When I look back on this year, it's been a hard one.
But here I am, still standing.
Trying not to fall asleep while standing but standing none the less.
Ok, something weird.
Last night, right before Pumps made her nightly visit for love (usually around 2:30AM), I'm laying there, having just before woken up and I swear to God, something touched my butt. It wasn't the blanket, it felt like someone poked me in my butt cheek.
I'm serious.
I'm totally serious.
I mean, maybe I was still half asleep, but when I looked, there was nothing there. It had to be one of the cats right?
I've never had a ghost vibe in this place. Never.
Anyways, that's where things are at today.
I'm ok.
Happy to have my other meds, can't wait for them to kick in and take the edge off of these rather large emotions I've been having this past six months or so.
I always used to say normal is boring and it is, it is, but you know what? I could go for a little boring right about now.
I hope you all have a great day.
Today's short:
Be Blessed!!
Love & Light,
Neecie
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