I have to go quick.
I sortof am in a place where I realize I have no answers.
The meds are dumbing down the big feelings but I'm still sad, I'm still having increased anxiety.
Yesterday I wrote about the guy commenting on my shorts. I probably sounded angry. I need to work on that.
It's just that I've never liked hun or sweetie or any of that. I'm OK with people calling me babe but I just don't like those other ones. We all have our preferences.
And especially from someone I don't know, that's a term of familiarity, ya know? There's no other interaction.
And if you want to know the truth, men terrify me. They do. I wasted much of my life chasing this dream of "the one."
I'm not saying this guy is gross, it's me. You know, getting that kind of attention makes me feel gross. That's not what I'm trying to do here. I don't do YouTube in hopes of landing me a man.
So no harm was meant on my part, it's just this tends to be where I vent when I need to.
Work is getting harder and harder for me. Not because of the work itself but because of the atmosphere I work in.
But the longer I put off job search, the longer it's going to take to get out of there.
Ugh, I'm crying now and I have to go so I'll do my affirmations in the car and listen to some Ozzy and other metal from back in the day and maybe that will rouse me enough to pull up the big girl panties and get on with it.
I hope you all have an amazing day.
Be Blessed.
Love & Light,
Neecie
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