Sleep At Last

Good Morning!

Wow. 

So last night, I picked up my daughter’s sleeping medication, she doesn’t use it, but it’s the same stuff I used. My drink powder for sleep came as well so I went over to my former rommie’s place to pick it up and I took that too and I took an edible. You can see, I am desperate for sleep.

And man! Did I get some. 7 hrs and 54 minutes. Almost two hours of REM and an hour and 17 of deep. 

I am dead groggy this morning.

I’m sure my body will be happy but right now, I’m just trying to shake myself into bright consciousness.

Wow.

I’ll take it though!

The end goal will always be for me to sleep without any of this stuff but for now…grateful.

I’m groggy but the gloom and doom has lifted.

Just have to get myself moving because I overslept in order to give myself this. Not long enough that I’ll be late though.

I have so much to do at work and I’m going to set a nice, steady pace and just…gett’er done.

My goals for this evening are simple ones.

Do the dishes, order groceries for the week (to be picked up tomorrow) and shower.

That's it. That's all she wrote.

I am really thinking about life.

And just...all my rituals and things to do and little mini-obsessions, like keeping the house clean. Good thing, a clean house, but I use it to keep myself from thinking other things through.

My boss asked me to start making calls to the people who expressed interest in getting an estimate done for their DW's but never answered back. It's a dead season.

I think it's because of the economy and all the rain. When it rains, our guys don't work. And it has rained this summer.

It's raining today.

It's going to be cloudy all weekend and then mostly cloudy with some sun and some possibility of thunderstorms all next week.

This weather...just...wow.

I still remember my bestie calling me when her daughter was a baby. She was sobbing and I thought something had happened to her little one; but no, she said through her sobs, "Denise, the sun is shining for the first time in 45 days."

She lives in Washington.

Weather is changing everywhere so I don't know if they still get tons of rain, I know it's heated up there much more than what used to be the norm, just don't know about the rain.

Minnesota has not gotten rain like this in forever.

We're lucky to put two days of sunshine together this year.

To me, that's just absolutely crazy.

But I don't run this show...soooo...no control over it. In the words of Led Zeppelin, "Cryin' won't help ya, prayin' won't do ya no good."

Luckily, I don't feel the need to cry today and as for prayin', I'll do it anyways, albeit in the car, driving into work, because it makes me feel better.

Last night, after work, I ran a bunch of errands, one after the other, I didn't get home until just after six so I allowed myself to stay down last night, give myself some permission to do the crash thing and not feel bad about it.

I am always blown away at my attitude when I get sleep and when I get rest and how quickly things spiral when I don't.

Sleep. It has to be a major priority for me, it just does.

I wonder if when I was little, if I was worse when I didn't get enough sleep? I mean, I was a little shit as it was so it may have been hard to measure it, had mom and dad thought to do so.

I'm not sure.

22 years ago, Dad died. 

My dear dear Dad. I miss him. With every ounce of my being, I miss him.

I will write about him tonight, do a twofer.

Loss never, ever leaves you...it just somehow, becomes bearable.

So I will try to have a good day, in his honor and I will smile and think of happy times.

I love all of you.

Thank you for your support.

Here's the short I posted yesterday.

I'll do another one today. 

Look how crooked my nose looks in the pic of me in the video above. LOL!!

Be Blessed You Guys!!

Love & Light,

Neecie