Worry is a Wanker

 

Good Morning,

Guys, it feels like Friday, how I wish it was Friday. 

Alas, it is Thursday.

I'm on a major burn out. And I've been saying through the last 5 months that I think I'm in the process of hitting another bottom.

It's all the stuff I wrote about yesterday.

I'm very, very tired. I can't breath and it's...I have this cough and I just can't quit. I can't put those stupid smokes down. 

It's so stupid.

I've stopped things in my life before.

Pumpkin is up here, on my desk. She's rather distracting.

Thank God for animals. 

My cats, and Reilli's Pumpkin, they are like my besties. 

Can you imagine a world without them?

I'm not sure what I need to, or want to write about, today. I am tired, the apartment is messy, I feel messy, I'm so exhausted.

I have people close to me who will be traveling soon. I become a bit nuts when this happens because I worry. 

I think that I am the only person who knows how to be cautious, that no one can be as cautious as me, this from the crackhead, lol.

But I do, I worry. I used to worry everyday when I was little, when Dad would leave for work. I didn't like it. I imagined all sorts of things and you know, Dad was just fine.

Sometimes I think I shouldn't come home after work...I should just go somewhere, anywhere, go for a walk or hang out at the bookstore; anything but come home because I deflate and it's getting to me. I feel like I'm not living.

But I think about last Sunday and just...how nice it was and I just have to push myself to keep that happening.

And of course, I am running late again.

I have to go.

The owner of the company came in on Monday and said that she and her husband won't be in on Friday (tomorrow) and that my boss, their daughter, leaves at 2. She told me I can leave at 3 and that she'll pay me for a full day so tomorrow is something to look towards.

Ok, gotta go.

I'm OK. I just have dark times, this is one of them but the sun is shining and it's going to be temperate, warming back up so today can be whatever I want to make it be.

I hope you all have a great day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie