Legitimate Excuses

Hi Everyone,

Wow. I really struggled to get moving this morning. At the end of the day, or should I say, at the end of early morning, my priority is to get out the door on time so that I am not late to work.

My new ethic is that the more I’m on time, the better it is for me if at some point, I have a legitimate excuse for not being on time.

I mean, that should’ve always been the ethic but no time like the present, eh?

I’m really realizing a lot about how I am lately and really seeing the denial I can go into. There is nothing insane going on or anything really bad, it’s just that I realize I make excuses for so many things and my life is passing me by and that makes me very, very sad.

And I am back to that age old tape that plays over and over in my head, telling me that I am helpless, and I can’t change anything.

I can, I know I can. I listen to and repeat affirmations in the car every day on the way to work that tells me I have the power to change my life.

My life is good. But if I want it to continue to be good, and I want to be successful, according to what I view as success, then I have to push myself and for some reason pushing myself just is so difficult. I have no idea why I resist so much?

Is it because I don’t really believe I can do it? Is it because of the whole self sabotage thing?

I mean, that is so unnecessary now. I know that in my head, but I really think I need to know that in my heart.

It’s just these last few weeks of working, I am right back into the old pattern that I always go into when I work. I do nothing when I get home and I am struggling in the mornings with the same thing.

I do not try to do too much anymore and what I have on my lists are doable.

Yet I continue to allow myself to deflate when I get home.

I have just under three years until I turned 60. I know that that is enough time to turn my life around completely.

I am very proud of the changes I’ve made so far and feel good about them.

I need to fight these old tapes once and for all, and just put them the fuck behind me.

That’s all I have for you today.

Thanks for stopping by.

Be blessed.

Love and light,

Neecie