The Push

 

Hello Dahhhhlings,

Sunday. 

I wish I was starting work tomorrow. I'm still a teeny bit stressed about $$ but we'll get there. I had a weird thing happen yesterday. It wasn't a good day. 

I was overcome with self-doubt, like I can't do this. Like I'm gonna fail again.

It's not a good feeling. I feel better about things today.

Thankfully.

There are days when you can't fight it and you need to give yourself grace on those days. On the days you can fight it, you push yourself a bit.

Today, we gonna do the push.

I went through yesterday and figured out a schedule for myself. It's gonna be tough. I'm not used to going like that but it's life and if I want to get through this, if I want to pay everything off and if I want to make Willow's Whimsy happen so I can finally begin saving $$, at the very least to ensure that if I were to lose this job for any reason that I would be OK.

I never want to go through anything like this again.

Ever.

Period.

I started looking for apartments. I found a 3 bedroom (so I can have an office) that has way more square feet in it and is $200 less per month. It's in Dayton, MN, which sucks but it's not that far out. 

You know, I had wanted to find a landing spot we could comfortably be in for at least a couple years but it didn't work out that way. This apartment is not doable...for all the reasons.

I didn't actually see pics of the apartment, they had floor plans only. I have to start looking in June for Oct. 1st.

It's scary. Knowing all this is coming yet again.

But we're not there yet now are we? Time to just focus on today.

I'm happy because I can get my edibles again. I won't be drug tested for the new job and I only use 'em for sleep sooooooo......

Although sleep has been alright for the most part. 

I'm too in my head right now, thinking about all the "stuff" that is coming and all I have to do to prepare for what's coming.

I am not gonna just chill today. Little goals make big things happen. I can do it all, just not all at once.

So.

I'm gonna say goodbye and I'll be back tomorrow.

Have a great day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie