Misery

Hi Everyone,

Miserable fucking day for me. I have no choice but to go in and do this job that I fucking hate. And for what? 

Money.

I am not in a good place. I am miserable. I am feeling sorry for myself. I am literally a shit show this morning. 

This job? They totally misrepresented what it is. It is a sales position. I was told I'd be answering phones, not making calls. I hate this job, I hate it and I've only been there for two days.

I am making sales calls, all day long. I am not doing anything remotely administrative.

This is not what I signed on for.

And I can't quit.

I can't do what I always do because I have no money. Nada. None.

I'm got a call last night that...I don't know, I had planned on working on my LinkedIn profile and I shouldn't have taken it because by the time I got off the phone, it was so late and I didn't get shit done.

And oddly enough, we did talk about boundaries and I didn't set them. 

You guys, I will go on, I will. But goddamnit, this is awful.

I don't know how I'm going to do this today. 

My impulse is to say fuck it and it's so strong.

It's so strong.

But I have friends who have lived through so much worse; harassment, you name it. I can do this, even if I don't want to, I can do this.

I just feel very shocked. Everything has been going so good, so smoothly...and then this.

It's life.

Life happens.

I got on LinkedIn this morning and I made two changes. I will finish that project tonight and will also get my resume done.

I can't get a new job in one night.

Please. If you know of anything, please let me know. 

Because sometimes it really does take a village.

And I'm out of time because I have to get ready and go. I will do my affirmations on the way in, I will take deep breaths. I will be grateful for a paycheck.

I hope that all of you have an amazing day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie