Inconceivable

Another Day, maybe Another Dollar.

Greetings to you this morning.

I slept last night but I cried myself to sleep. I am devastated by the what happened to Rob Reiner and his wife. Apparently, it was their son who killed them.

Obviously, I did not know these people. But Rob Reiner has been such a part of my life in a way. As I was coming up in my adulthood, his movies were the fabric of my life.

I went and saw This is Spinal Tap with my friend Greg, who was probably one of my best friends at that time and he sadly has passed on. And princess bride? I mean, I don’t even know how many times I’ve watched that movie. I loved it when I saw it as a teenager and I loved it when I watched it with my children. I’m gonna see if I can find it today and watch it in honor of him. It’s just so sad. 

And it makes you realize, it really can end at any time. In any way. I sit here in my depression and my fear and quite frankly, some days it’s outright hopelessness and now I’m sitting here thinking, well I’m alive.

I still have work to do. There’s still a chance for me.

It just all feels so hard.

I did get some things done yesterday. I’m going to try to get some things done today.

It’s funny because I put myself out here, on this blog, but especially doing the YouTube videos. I continue to get more attention there and more subscribers and don’t get me wrong, I am not knocking it, but when people comment, then I get scared of them. And I wonder what their motivations are and I have turned off comments, but some of my other shorts before I did that obviously, people still have the ability to comment and no one has said anything mean or bad, just someone commented some things and I’m just not who I used to be. I used to thrive on any kind of attention and now when I get attention, it scares me to death and I find myself questioning people’s intentions. You know, like I don’t trust them or something.

All I can do, is continue to post videos and disable the comments each time.

I guess I’m just a scaredy-cat these days. And honestly, a lot of it has to do with the fact that in the past, while my choices in friends has always been dead on, my choices as far as romantic connections were so far off and often times, I started friendships, thinking friendship, and even said friendship, and the other person took it somewhere. It was never meant to go. So yeah, I get scared of people.

Anyways, even though I don’t know them, my thoughts go out to the Reiner family and let me just say thank you to Rob Reiner, for what he gave us all, all of us who love his movies.

Ugh, it’s so heartbreaking.

Love and hug your people. Check in with them, make sure they’re OK. Because you just never know, do you? 

I hope you have a good day,

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie