What I Have and Not What I Want

Ah. Well. I still have 12 minutes to start this with Good Morning.

This bottom I’ve hit? I believe I wrote about it recently? I’m not bouncing back as I usually do. Luckily, it’s not a bottom with give so it’s not going further down. I’m staying very uncomfortably in the same place.

Part of it is I promised myself no more dramatic posts on FB.

So that’s an outlet I’ve shut down.

And I struggle when I give up habits even if they no longer serve me. 

I don’t know what’s gonna happen here but the fear of it has me frozen. 

I’m willing to change things but it seems I’ve put conditions on it.

I have to let those go. Changing it has to start with forcing myself to do the things that will help.

Changing it means working with what I have, not what I want.

See I know these things but putting action behind it? I wilt.

But that is the beginning of the way out.

I reached out to two friends yesterday. Because I can’t stand feeling like this anymore. I need to get OUT of the apartment everyday. 

So I’m going over to have dinner at a friend’s tonight and I’m doing the same Thursday night and I’m seeing my sister on Friday.

My bestie is in Washington and the flooding and breaking of the levees and the storms…it’s brutal. 

She’s ok but I am worried. I am really, really worried.

Please keep her and all the people affected by this in your thoughts.

Anyways, that’s where things are at today. By reaching out, I feel I was able to rise a bit off the bottom today. I’m hovering just above it, levitating with my toes almost touching the bottom but above it nonetheless.

I hope you all have a good day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie