Well...not the greatest night last night. I had a hard time forcing myself off the couch but I did eventually manage it.
The good stuff came this morning. I got up early, like at 3:30 again. I have cleaned the kitchen, pulled all the Halloween decorations (will pack them and put them in storage tonight), swept and mopped the kitchen, dining room and hallway, folded and put away 2 loads of laundry, took out the garbage. I could've cleaned the bathroom but I am dying my hair tonight and I'll need to clean after that.
So tonight is more cleaning, always more cleaning but it's not bad and half of it is done so...yay for me.
No progress last night or this morning on the projects. I may have to give myself permission to let them go until my Aunt is gone. I want to enjoy every moment with her because we haven't had time in so, so long. I went out there almost two years ago and saw her and spent time in Jersey with my immediate and extended family but I haven't seen anyone since.
So I need to give myself permission to let what doesn't get done...go.
It's either that or not get any decent sleep for the next two days and I don't know if I have that in me. I think I might become a raging lunatic and I don't want that either.
A close friend messaged me last night to let me know she's thinking of me. I am so grateful. I'm thinking of her too, I just have to get all this shit done for once in my life...so I can enjoy my time with friends.
So often, I get resentful when people want to talk or see me and understand, I know that's icky.
What a word...icky.
But yeah, it is. A little gratitude ma'am?
But if I can just do all this and get it done, it will be so much easier to stay on top of, than to fall behind again. Behind equals overwhelmed for me.
My days here are numbered and I just feel like...let's do the most I can to achieve something, anything before I go.
Yes, I have come so far. The things that have changed...thanks be to the Gods for their grace and guidance and giving me just enough to do this thing better, this life thing.
But it's a journey, not a graduation and I want to journey as far as I possibly can.
And so...on that note...here I go.
Fucking work. I mean...oh yay, I'm grateful for work. It sure does get in the way of having a life, and having time and all that.
It is what it is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah...believe it or not, I am grateful.
So too will I be grateful to land a different job. My journey in this job...like I can see why I landed here and why I needed this experience. But my time there is done. Oh! A kitty is attacking my toes.
Time to get some feline love before work.
Hit it hard today guys. You got this.
Be Blessed.
Love & Light,
Neecie
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