Sh*t M’pants

Hello.

I am going to warn you up front, I am going to talk about number two in graphic detail.

So I will not be offended if you need to back away from the blog. Go quickly because there will be details.

This morning, I’m in my car. I’m in my car to have a smoke. I go a lot in the mornings as my regular readers know. IBS. So I’m in my car and I start cramping up. I almost always can hold on until I get to a toilet. But this one started pushing out as soon as the cramping started and I’m like, “Oh my God, no.” I’m in my nightgown and I have no underwear on.

And it keeps pushing through. I get out of my car and it’s slowly coming out as I walk/run. Same as I go up the stairs, into my apartment and down the hall to my daughter’s bathroom because it’s the closest.

I sit on the toilet just as the lava literally pushes itself out of me. It’s a mud bath. It’s everywhere. I take my nightgown off and I can feel poop getting on me.

I won’t go into wiping because it was a shit show, in every way a shit show can be a shit show. As soon as I’m done, I get up and go straight into the shower because I reeked.

I get out and go back and clean the toilet. It was bad. But then, I notice a poop on the bathroom floor, then another one. Then I see one in the hallway back the way I came in. There was one by the door. I cleaned all these up, got dressed and out the door.

As I’m going down to my car, there are pooplets in the hallway, pooplets on the stairs and pooplets on the sidewalk.

No. I did not clean them up. I was afraid my ass would be late to work.

It is the most disgusting, helpless feeling. It’s against nature.

You try and suck your buttcheeks together but it keeps coming.

Horrible. Absolutely. Horrible.

That was my morning.

The stuff of nightmares.

So apparently, my IBS is changing yet again. I have family members who have had this experience but more so than I because mine doesn’t usually just happen like that.

Just. Please, no.

I had more to blog about but that trauma is haunting me still and I think I just need to move on with my day.

I hope you all have a great day as well as healthy, NORMAL bowel movements.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie