Grace

Good Morning,

Happy Monday?

I'll tell ya what. I am exhausted. So not enough sleep. Whatever. Yesterday was bad you guys. It was so bad. I was a crying mess. 

I think it was probably the time change, but I have to say, I was very emotional, very fragile feeling. I was exhausted yesterday too and did manage to get a little nap in but wow.

I was so tired, I don't feel like I was able to fully engage in anything.

And you know, what do you do on days like that? I feel bad because I haven't called my girls' other grandma and I haven't called my Aunt.

Like, it just feels like there is never enough time.

And I was overcome with sadness that so many of the people I love, and I include myself in that, who are sad or just not happy or struggling.

Can anything ever be easy? What if we able to flip the dynamic and make it so good things happened most of the time and the hard stuff was fleeting, much like happiness is now.

I don't know.

I really was pretty much a slug yesterday but after the nap, I did meditate and I did do my affirmations and a facial. I did do the dishes.

That was all I had in me.

Somedays, I think it's OK to give yourself that grace. I did call one friend who had texted me on Saturday and was able to make sure she's ok. I messaged my bestie and she made me feel better, she said had crashed yesterday too, was still in her robe. She told me to give myself grace.

So we all have these days.

You get through them and if you can manage the smallest of accomplishments, hey, you celebrate that. I was really upset because my previous boss hadn't approved my timecard. I texted her and she said she did but she didn't.

I just emailed my recruiter about it because there's nothing else I can do. I have to trust the Universe on this one.

And I start the new job today and I am exhausted and in danger of running late so I'm going to say, "I hope you have a great day" at this point and I mean it.

Tonight, more grace man. Nap, gym, shower, bed by nine.

I'm back to no meds. 

I read up on how the things I take may affect your heart and it wasn't good so I'm just like...ok, I'll just fucking deal with this.

Consistency.

And good days in spite of the world or myself or others or whatever.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light, 

Neecie