Self Pity and the Universe

I am breathing deep.

Oh, and hello.

Something is up with my computer. Not enough time now to go into it or to try and fix it.

I have to get to work and I am lucky that I had enough time to shower and get dressed.

I wanted to get this started on the computer and I'll finish in the car.

I have to do voice texting so things may be spelled wrong and the wrong words inserted.

Just so you know.

I’m at work and I give no fucks. I technically don’t start until our morning meeting.

I am really negative this morning.

There is only one option and that is to get through this job. To apply for others and hang in until I get an offer. 

Please don’t think this is me not being grateful. Gratitude is the reason I’m here today. Gratitude is the reason I’m sticking this out.

It’s ok to feel my feelings. I just can’t act on them. 

I want to ask why? Why can’t I land a job doing what I can and want to do? The stress of this position is giving me heart palpitations. Literally. I woke up at one last night and my heart was racing and I couldn’t catch my breath.

The self pitying part of me wants to think the Universe is punishing me and that this is my karma compass behavior.

At the end of the day, I don’t think I’m that important. The Universe doesn’t have time to wreak revenge upon me.

It just is what it is.

But I want out of this and for once in my life, I have to do this the right way.

I have to push through all this. 

Gotta go.

Have a great day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie