Deactivation

Good Morning,

Is it? LOL, ah another doom and gloom blog. No. Not totally. 

I'm sick. I felt it coming on yesterday. But this morning, I'm lightheaded, my ears hurt and I'm full of snot. I want to stay in bed but I'm gonna go in and do my best to just get through this day. 

Ain't nobody got time for being sick. 

I think this one is gonna turn into a pretty bad one though. The cough is...it's awful.

I'm gonna drink tea all day at work and I have lemons here so I can make some lemon tea with honey when I get home.

I can't explain how tired I am but I woke up early this morning and started sobbing because I'm just so tired and I felt like I couldn't go on but it was either keep crying or get up and try to do some things.

I got a lot done yesterday and I feel like I had a full, steady, productive day but I did have to lay down for an hour and a half. The no sleep thing but I did manage to get up and to get going again. 

I deactivated my main fb page because I couldn't take it anymore. I'm trying to put my phone down as much as possible. It's amazing how quickly your brain starts to heal from that constant scrolling.

The one thing I did not work on was my fucking resume. Why is doing things, anything, like pulling teeth? I'm like a baby someone is feeding peas too for the first time and after that first bite, I don't want anymore, so I close my eyes and shut my mouth and shake my head no.

Honestly, each day, I have to fight the feeling of being nothing more than a rat in a cage. 

Going through new mazes, only to find that another has been placed before me. I want open fields, wild forests.

The pain in my back is still there but it seems to slowly be getting better. If I am able to, I want to go to the gym tonight, just to do the circuit, it only takes 15 minutes or so and then sit on the massage chair before coming home and showering.

I'm hoping the chair will help my back.

I do have a plan for today but whether it'll happen or not, I suppose that will depend on how I'm feeling and what my energy levels are.

I have meditated and I went for a 20 minute walk though the apartment building. 

I had to force this.

I'm sweating but sweating is good when you're sick, get it all out of me.

Ok, I'm gonna go hit the rest of this day. 

I genuinely hope you all have a great day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie