Guru Blakaka

 Good Morning,

And it was good. And it is good. I did not want to get up. But that’s the norm. I managed to do so, albeit a bit late.

I got in meditation, morning skin and hair care routine.

I fed the kittkas.

I got all my food for the day in my work bag.

Yesterday was off to a great start, I got together with one of my besties, Erin. We met for breakfast and we could tell after we were done eating, that they wanted us out of there so we left and met up at Caribou.

We got all caught up. Our conversations are always multi-facited; kids, our jobs, our finances, our struggles, our successes, our failures and our hopes and plans. And then of course, we don’t always but we sometimes get raunchy and discuss men and sex and all that. Poop too. 

It was nice. But, I think because I haven’t been sleeping well, I crashed when I got home and I mean, I had things I wanted to do. I slept for maybe 20 minutes and I was just taken over with depression. It was awful. I missed mom and dad. I allowed in my fear about finding another job.

I was doing the frozen thing and it lasted a good hour or two. Just crying and going to the fridge for cheese. Cheese is my comfort place.

I managed to do the dishes, put all the clean ones away. I pulled all the clothes out of the drier and folded and put away. I gave myself a facial. I took a shower, did my skincare stuff. I did a pickup at Target for kittka food. I also somehow managed to clean the poop out of the feline receptacles…from when they leave their offerings.

And I got some more bandaids. I can’t afford to get my nails done and this picking shit…there are just some damn things I can’t take anymore. You know, my own shit. I guess if you get sick enough of something, you try to attack it.

I made out a schedule for the week and I’m sticking to it. And so far today, I am on track.

My boss isn’t coming in today. She got sick over the weekend. My daughter did too, my oldest daughter. They say there is just some nasty ass shit going around. I already had something, please, please just stay the fuck away from me. 

But yeah, she texted and told me if I had my computer at home, I could just work from home. I could’ve really kicked myself because that would’ve been lovely. But I’m going to half take her up on that. I’m here now, I really have little to do until this meeting so after the meeting, rather than leave for lunch, I’m just going to pack up this laptop and head home and work the rest of the day from there.

It's a relief because I miss traffic that way and I can get so much more done tonight, like if I have extra time, I can do something from Friday night’s schedule, start shortening things up because it’s going to be a week and a weekend, let me tell you.

Weekend won’t be so bad. I plan on doing NOTHING on Sunday but rollerskating. If I wanna be a slug girl, Imma be a slug girl.

Ok, let’s talk spending for a minute.

I went back and forth on one item all weekend, had it in the cart ready to go. Not even going to tell you what it was because I still want it. It was 30% off and it’s expensive as shit. So here’s what I decided on that one because the sale is over now and I did not purchase it. It’s going to be my reward to myself when I hit my weight loss goal. That, and clothes that fit of course.

So that was one Pierre purchase put to rest. And then I got a notice that I had 10x the point on certain items from Ulta. They like, never do 10x the points so I wanted in. But I didn’t do that either guys. It was a one day offer and I just simply said, no. Stop this madness.

And I got busy with the stuff I wrote above. 

I did cave and get some edibles. They worked but I still didn’t get enough sleep because I was determined to go into today with food made to bring to eat here instead of grabbing fast food. So I was up late. 

But I mean, I chose that, knowing that another day of tiredness is just that, it’s just another day. 

This week, I am cleaning one room a night so no cleaning on the weekend. Next week, I don’t clean, I just pick up each room as needed and I assign myself one project. I need to go through my walk in, I need to reorganize our pantry closet, if you can call it that, it’s sooo small, and I need to finally go through the goddamn bins of supplies for Willow’s Whimsy. 

And so…I’ve got a plan for the next two weeks. I’ll be doing job search as well, working on the story I’m writing, finishing up on the recipes for the cookbooks…there’s a little of everything each night so that I can feel accomplished but not overwhelmed and not like I’m letting anything go.

I missed my affirmations this weekend. But I picked them right back up this morning. You know what bums me out? Each Monday, I realize on my drive, oh wow, it’s not dark out anymore. I get to see the sun come up. And while I am thrilled that in March, it’ll be lighter out at the end of the day, by an hour, we go back to darkness in the morning. But that will change too.

It always does.

I’m hoping for two more weeks here.  Fingers crossed but damn, damn, damn…trying to manifest my dream job; I do so by saying thank you for my dream job. I’m so grateful. I say this to the Universe, acting as if, faking it til you make it, manifesting guru blakaka.

But it fucking works, or at least it did in December and January.

Let’s get a little February magic going.

On that note, my loves, if you are in Minnesota, for the love of the Gods, stay warm. I am layered up like a mofo today. It’s a cold bitch in this office too. But at least I can leave early and work from home after this meeting.

Yay!

Be Blessed!!!

Love & Light,

Neecie