Little Chaos Baby

 

Hello,

Good Morning,

I have been up since 2:45 or so. No biggie. I went to bed at 6:15. I know, wtf? You guys, I can't help but wonder sometimes if I'm on my way out. Seriously.

I have no energy. Zero. Nada.

But because I'm a beginner Baller and not a full fledged one...my head is still so full of...stuff.

What honestly would happen, and I'm not saying I'm even capable of doing this, but what would happen if I put down everything I'm a slave to? We're talking my skincare routines, my fitbit, social fucking media, trying to eat the right shit, smoking for sure, all the requirements I hold myself to but very rarely adhere to?

I am my mother's savage daughter and I often think...when did I get tamed? 

Beast, I think often of those hills at the Civic Center, running barefoot through the dirt, jumping from one hill of dirt to the next, swimming in the puddles after it rained. 

It is where Gorsen first came to us.

I long for those hills, nature, a wood cabin (albeit a nice one). I'd love to paint my face like Daryl Hannah in Clan of the Cave Bears and go fuck shit up.

I'm a little chaos baby who has always tried to fit into normal.

I want to be in Munster, Ireland, where some of my ancestors hail from; I want to be holding my sister's hand as we look out on the expanse of where our people came from.

I want to be barefoot in Finland and Sweden, on the ground my other ancestors stepped on. I want to visit Wales and see the sea...the same sea my people looked out on.

And back in the real world; I applied for a job this morning but I have done nada with updating my resume. So tonight, that is my goal. That and to apply for 3 jobs I saved.

I'm bored, I'm tired and I'm not gonna lie, I'm getting annoyed that I have yet to win the lottery.

Pumpkin has been meowing all morning. 

I leave you now to go worship her beauty and fawn over her greatness.

Have a great day Ballers.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie