Far From Perfect

 

Hi Everyone,

Good Lord, I am not hitting it on the posting of the blog this month. You would think I would, given I'm not working but damn...depression follows you no matter what you do.

I am handling the aftermath of the election well. 

And it's sad to me that I'm sortof worried about what I write, you know, could it be held against me at some point?

You know, regardless of my views or my stand on things or what have you? 

I will not let myself go down the rabbit hold of what if's. I will let things unfold as they will but I think it's time for people (all people) to step down off of their soap boxes and get moving, if nothing else to prepare.

I'm not trying to be dramatic and I won't go into what I mean by prepare. It's not apocalyptic or anything like that.

I want to be OK and I think by putting certain possibilities into place, I think maybe I won't feel so helpless and if I can get some of my power back, then that's a good thing, right?

I have seen people I know and love go down the path of righteousness and bitterness. I've seen them start hiding, knowing they aren't doing anything to make change other than post facebook rants.

I can't. I can't be that. 

I am far from perfect. In fact, I am still really struggling with my "meisms" that I wrote about the other day. I really, really am.

ADHD stuff, laziness, procrastination, depression, some fear and anxiety.

It's freezing me up.

So, what to do? What to do that's different than how I usually do stuff, my usual response? 

I guess all of this to say I am so sick of the meisms.

I'm literally sick of myself. That's when it's time to change. 

I'm tired. Can I stop having to change anytime soon? 

Allow me a moment to say, "is a little self-pity" ok to indulge in now and then? I suppose it is, but it certainly doesn't serve a positive purpose.

I went out to eat with a friend for breakfast yesterday. It was so good to talk to someone whose not losing their shit, who is doing some of the "preparing" I talked about and who is trying to look at the big picture as opposed to things like the cost of eggs.

Eggs factor in but there is so much more to this, it goes so much deeper than the cost of eggs, on both sides. 

I needed someone who isn't hysterical and who is of sound mind and staying calm in the center of the storm.

Someone willing to stop bitching and actually take some steps.

I will write more about that as we go. Feeling empowered is a huge step in not getting lost in the world and it's going ons right now.

OK, I will be back and maybe have accomplished some things.

I hope you have a good day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie