Ah, I went in to work yesterday, got there by 8 and left at 12 and have to do it again and then work a full work week.
No fun, no fun.
I was pretty pooped yesterday. When I got back from work, I took a nap and it took me awhile to get things moving so I did not finish all I wanted to.
I need to see if my son is willing to meet me over at my roommates at some point to get the big, heavy TV stand I got and help me get it into my car and then into my apartment.
I'm not putting it together today but it'd be good to have it here. I did get over to my roomies yesterday and picked up one of the little bookshelves I had over there. After work, I'll get the other one. I have a big list for today since I was so tired yesterday. I'm a little stressed that things aren't done but I'm giving myself grace as well.
I have to. I'm not 20, as established in a previous blog. My body is like, "what are you doing to me?" I literally had to force myself to do bougie bath last night. I'm so glad I did. It felt wonderful.
And I did put some things away.
I was so mad because I did a Target pickup and I had ordered nails and instead I got a thing of screws. I forgot to order garbage bags so another order is in order for today. It never ends, the shit we need.
But I also went to Chuck N Don's to pick up our cat food and they were closed. Since Covid, everything around here closes earlier than it used to. I had just enough dry food to feed them this morning so I have to go do that too.
So I did email my ex back. I haven't heard anything. It's funny, how quickly this monster inside me rears it's head and how easily distracted it becomes.
I realized yesterday that I need to keep my wits about me. This most likely is not a love connection. I say I don't want that and then one guy pays some attention and I'm suddenly curious and while I wouldn't say interested in pursuing something, all the "thoughts" come; too many of them.
Realistically, if I look back, I was one who broke up with him and there were reasons for that. And years later, when I went out to see him, he chose not to see me because at that point, I had gained all this weight and I had to tell him and he didn't want to see me. He wanted to remember me the way I was. I was crushed.
I'm not that girl now, regardless of my weight. I don't sit at the table begging for scraps.
We were young. People change. I do know for a fact that he made a lot of bad choices in his life. I know that I did too. I know that I have changed not only that, but who I am in general. He may have done the same but the bottom line is that I do not know this person.
Yes, I would love it if he wrote back, but it's not necessary for me to go in living my life to the fullest.
I just know that I tend to idealize people and then they fall from the shaky pedestal I put them on and I blame them. I have no idea what his life is now.
So yeah, kinda came through that one quickly.
Alright, I have a few things to do before work, so I'm gonna get moving and get there. The sooner I get there, the sooner I get done and the sooner I have to get home and see if I can get a huge dent in the apartment unpacking, etc.
Perhaps I will have good things, productive things, to report tomorrow.
I hope you all have a great day.
Be Blessed.
Love & Light,
Neecie
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