It is but it's going way to flippin' fast. I'm at it today, big time. I won't go into a big list right now about what I've already accomplished because there is so much more to do. So much more.
Look, I highly doubt that I will get everything from my roommate's over here today but I intend to make a big motherfucking dent in it.
Like, it'll just be little stupid stuff left over there.
Not going to think about what comes after that because there is so much.
Depending on what gets accomplished today, I'll make a list for tomorrow.
I need to keep busy today. Yesterday, I literally thought I was going to die. Panic attack at work. What I wrote about yesterday? About someone leaving? Itk's happening. She is leaving. She is leaving for the exact same reasons as me plus some other reasons. Ethics, morals, values...those we share in our reasoning to leave. But there are other wonderful things that are in store for her and her husband. I am not going to lie, I am so jealous. Like almost green with envy. But I am so happy for her too. She's worked hard, her husband has worked hard. They are daring to not only dream but to put action behind it and I am so happy for her and excited for her and yeah...jealous. I cried and cried and then I called my sister and I cried some more.
I do not want this mundane life.
I can't allow myself to go down the tunnel of self-pity so I'm going to stop but I will say is what I said to her. I was meant to meet her. I was meant to be inspired by her. I was meant to have a fire lit right under my ass by her. I really have so much respect and joy for her.
So yeah. Let's do it. Let's do this shit. The first thing is that I have to make it my job to find a new job. I cannot do that until this apartment is done so for today, that has my everything. That has all my focus.
And that's all I'm going to say about anything. Nothing else needs my energy right now. Except to say...yet again...how grateful I am for my sister and her patience with me and willingness to listen, even when she's got stress in her life. Thank you Sissy. I don't know what I'd do without you.
I went to bed at 6:48 last night and got up at 6:28 this morning. There were some wake ups in that and a flip out on my daughter, who I will apologize to when she gets up.
Other than that, let's do this.
Fuck a mundane life.
Be Blessed.
Love & Light,
Neecie
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