Ondi Like Ghandi

 

Hi guys,

I am trying so hard not to do this here but I don’t believe I got a blog in yesterday. I’m still trying to “come back” from that plummet I had.

I feel much better.

But there is so much more going on now.

First, I had to cancel the doctor’s appointment. Because I don’t have insurance, they sent me an estimation of cost and it was $400.00 for the appointment. I can’t do that. There are some online mental health services that cost around $60 for an assessment and then they send you the  meds.

I need to look into the cost of the meds first and then we’ll go from there.

I forgot it was a full moon two days ago and it was a powerful one; the fall ones always are. I’m not blaming it all on the moon but that does factor in. I got 6 hrs and 15 minutes last night which is close to my sweet spot, my sweet spot being six and a half hours to seven hours.

And I feel alright.

I finished (except for my makeup), the packing in the room I use as my office. So that’s good. I need to clean the litter boxes, they are disgusting but I’m thinking I’ll only change one. I need four boxes at our new place because they said you should have as many litter boxes plus one as you do cats so I do have 5 bags of litter and I’m thinking we will just go with the one so I can start out fresh with four bags when we move.

I am moving the cats into the  new place, end of day, the day we move in. That way, most of the furniture will have been delivered and I can get their kitty towers, hammocks and beds all put together and ready for them.

I need new food for them as well as a lifted tray to put their food and water on. It never ends.

Ok, whatever, enough of that.

Yesterday, my boss announced her resignation. I’m happy for her. She’s going to a place that we looked at for my mom. It’s really nice. Mom would’ve been there except that they had a waiting list and she was already somewhere else when her name came up.

It’s scary for me because this is what happened at my last place of employment. Big changes came and my immediate boss left as a result.

And then everything went to shit.

But these things happen and this particular field is a field of high turnover, high burnout. It’s not good.

That said, because you know I’ve been all over about this job, I mean, I’m OK. I can stay here long enough to see what Willow’s Whimsy is gonna be.

Or at least where it seems to be headed.

I say this with total intention; when I am able to leave this place, I will visit a certain group of people here, residents, who have become precious to me. I can’t not see them or leave them. Some of them, they don’t get a lot of visits and they get attached and I can’t just walk away. Like, I wouldn’t do that. I am going to try not to get attached to any others and just hold this at bay because part of my problem, as mentioned previously, is this little problem I have with being a little helper bee. No more. I gotta help myself first. I gotta make myself into a machine that functions as flawlessly as possible so I can be there for others and not burnout.

It’s been a long day. I have so much to do after I get off work; bank, shopping for a dining room set because I’m starting to panic that we won’t have anything by the time we move. They had some cheap ones at Ashley Furniture. Honestly, I don’t even care if it’s a POS as long as it matches my décor. Like, whatEVah.

I need to regroup and start journaling. I’m not nearly as anxious as I was but I’m having a  hard time just getting “right in the head.”

As I get older, I find that it takes longer and longer to get my poop in a group after having meltdowns. I will say that the  meltdowns don’t go down as deep as they used to either though.

So, uh, now today is tomorrow (today).

Last night, I spent the last of shit-ton of $$ that’s gone out to get our apartment ready for inhabitation.

I guess that’s a word, inhabitation, because Word didn’t highlight as not being one.

Anyways, I still need an altar, towels for both bedrooms, plates, silverware, cups, deco for table tops in the dining room and living room, bathroom rugs and then I think we’re pretty much good to go.

Eventually, not now though, I’ll want a picture or two to hang in the living room, some décor for the walls if you will.

I got to work super early today so I can get out and power pack tonight, as well as call and get cable service set up, I’m going to need a new phone (mine cracked) but I’m hoping my phone will hold out until my next paycheck.

I’m going to write out my budget too, so that there are never any surprises, or at least as few of them as possible.

I mean, we’re here, this is huge part of what I’ve been working towards.

The real grind can start after next Friday.

And then it’s ondi like Ghandi.

Alright, well, I certainly have plenty to do here today so I’m going to get on that. I’m so happy. I’m out of here at 3:45 today. There is a God. Well, you know, in my mind, there are many.

But I digress.

Ight, Imma hit it now.

Y’all have a blessed day. Work hard, play hard.

Love & Light,

Neecie