I Mean, Whatever

Hello Dollies,

How is everyone doing? I hope this post finds you well. 

Blogging a second time because I don't know if I'll have time tomorrow AM.

I just wanna kick some ass and try and get to work either by 8 or 8:30 at the latest. I can't do the 9-5:30 thing, I just can't. 

Anyways, today I had to go into training for work. I'm still not sure why they had me do that. Having been in HR and in Education & Training, I can say that this was not good at all. There wasn't even a welcome to the new employees, no "we're grateful to have you on the team"...nothing. I just thought it was shitty.

I mean, whatever. 

But. Something strange happened to me there. There were a bunch of tables in the training room that sat 2 people per table. A man sat next to me. I am dead serious here, he looked like a cross between James Hetfield of Metallica and Markie Mark (Wahlberg). He had a buzz cut, silver hair. So. Good. Looking.

Of course I picked today to not wear any makeup and to basically look like a slob. But I think he was married. He said, "We just moved here from North Dakota." I didn't get a look at his hand to see if there was a ring. Ok, I was very attracted to him but I wasn't like...feeling anything sexual towards him.

But this was a shock for me, because I've been out of the game for so long and I have not come across anyone that I've felt attracted to. But I was attracted to him. I have no idea what I would even do, or be willing to do, if someone I was attracted to was attracted back. I honestly think by now, I'd probably have sexual dyslexia...it'd be so awkward, like what do I do now, and what next? I can't believe I'm even thinking about it.

For the most part, I don't think I could do it but at least I found someone attractive. It's just the strangest feeling.

Anyways, I don't know. I got an email stating that my new lease is ready to be signed by myself and my daughter. I'm so happy about this. 

It's just this huge relief.

There's a lot to do, a lot. And you know, I just gotta try and keep my feet on the ground right now. 

I'll write more about that soon, about keeping my feet on the ground. About my anxiety. I'm just getting tired and I told my daughter I'd pick her up from work tonight so I need to get going so I can do that and get back here and into bed.

I hope you all sleep well.

Love & Light,

Neecie