The Energy of Our Success

Hi Guys,

So I'm writing again on Sunday, even though you'll see this tomorrow, (today, Monday).

But I want to savor the moment because sometimes, it's the little things. I wrote about the friend who purchased the remainder of my products? I needed to make her a receipt, label what I could and write out a product description.

I know it doesn't sound like a lot but it's this kind of thing I really struggle with accomplishing. I usually start to panic because there is something else on my list, the next thing so to speak, and I'm afraid I'll miss it. Well, I did not miss it. I mean, I haven't done it yet but I won't miss it.

I talked myself through it, whoever runs the show in my head is very immature and kept complaining, it was one of the weirdos I'm sure, and I just told it to shut the fuck up and kept about my business and it's done.

I don't know. For me, that's a big deal. Especially on the tale of yesterday because I've written before of how when I have a really good day, it's usually followed by a day of anxiety, immobility and frustration.

Yeah. So, I'll come back tomorrow (today for you) and finish this blog up and post it.

Ok, and so here we are at today. I am bummed out. So I had a job interview with the county but I didn't realize that it's part time and that it won't be going to fulltime in the forseeable future. And you know, I'll keep it open, I may not even be asked to a 2nd interview but that doesn't even happen until the 20th. This is the problem with job search, right? First, you have to get noticed and get an interview, and then it's hurry up and wait. 

It's OK. I went through with the interview and that's good. There are a few more jobs open with the county and I'm going to get on that today in addition to apply for some in the school district I live in. 

It is what it is, ya know?

I did it and that's what matters. 

Now onwards.

Yesterday was a good day.

I saw three of my friends; one who I met up with on Friday so it was fun to see her so soon again. She's a gem, that one. And then my friend Emmie who I love madly but never get to see. When I got there, our friend Sara surprised me with a drop in, because when she heard I was going to Emmie's, she wanted to see me.

It was a full day.

Oh. I also went rollerskating. I could've cried. Doing things for myself, there are times I'm good with it and times I feel like I don't deserve it. It just felt nice to be doing it but I was a little off yesterday. Still, I kept my plans and I enjoyed myself.

Today I'm back to struggling. I'm taking deep breaths, because you know when I think about the finances, I get that drop in my stomach and then I worry about all the cortisol I'm releasing into my body by having those drops in my gut. I don't really know how to explain it. And there were tears. I just let myself have them. Honestly, sometimes I don't even know why they come. So I just try to get them out of my system and get on it already.

But I'm sad. Yeah.

I'm still going to keep going today, and try to have faith that all of this will work out.

But I also told myself I have to remember this shit. I can never, ever, forget what this is like. Because part of changing things up, is not only financial responsibility, accountability and decision making, it's also not repeating this stupid shit.

Yeah, so...I very, very much want to not give in today to the depression and hiding in bed thing. I have makeup on, my hair is good, sooooo....if not a great day, a productive one so maybe I can sleep good.

So you guys, that's what I'm going to do. I started this post yesterday, proud of myself for pushing through. Part of manifesting is to act on the energy of our successes.

I hope you all have a great day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie