Wow, I am down for the count but I'm pulling myself back up. Friday night, I got 3 and a half hours of sleep, yesterday it was 5 something. Last night, I got in 1 hour and 44 minutes.
What the actual fuck is going on with me? No sleep is so hard. It's so hard.
It is so very hard.
But I will push through.
Emotionally, something is going on with me too. This crying, this procrastination and fear, it's really getting to me.
Like, it is really getting to me. It's wreaking havoc big time.
But I did just take the time to apply for a job.
And my daughter and I ran an errand so that got me out and sometimes that can make a difference; if not all the difference, some and that's worth it, ya know?
I have to find a job. I waited to long on the Shipt thing and now I'm on a waitlist.
I can't let myself think to much about this or the anxiety of it will get to me.
I'm not going to put anything down about what I need to do and all that, because it feels right now like I need to do everything.
The main focus will be job search and getting things cleaned up.
I had an amazing, funny, lighthearted night, Saturday night, with my daughters and my sister. We went out to eat, we spent time talking and laughing, we played a game. I made a nice breakfast in the morning although I'm paying in spades for that today but it was worth it.
So I'm holding on to that today because I am having so much anxiety. I can't do one of my lists, I just can't.
But I can focus on one or two things.
And some self-care, although I'm not sure what that will look like just yet.
Alright, well, I'm going to go.
I'll be back tomorrow. In the AM. AM when I'm not working, PM when I am. Let's hope we transfer over to PM sooner than later.
Take good care and be blessed.
Love & Light,
Neecie
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