Y'all!
I'm having a day. Not enough sleep again but whatEVah. Step one - We Admitted.
I admitted to my friend Erin last night that I've been in a deep depression and I told FB today that I've been in a depression.
Already been talking about it here but hey...I'm in a depression.
This is not doom and gloom, it's more frustration. Frustration that I can't rally myself on out of this. Sleep makes a huge difference. It's not that I got a ton done yesterday but I just felt OK. I felt safe, I felt no fear or anxiety, I smiled, I enjoyed.
Today, at almost 6 hours, I already feel exhausted, lethargic, sad.
And the voices are saying, "For fooks sake lassie, get yer arse up and do somethin'."
Again I say, "whatEVah."
As soon as I realized there would be no more sleep for me, I rolled out of bed and went and cleaned the living room at my roommate's.
Came home, Tracy called me and that helped. She validated me. Erin validated me last night. Sometimes, validation just helps so much.
I've got a load of dishes going in the dishwasher. I do not know what I will do today other than bake bread.
And poop.
Cuz it's a poop day but luckily for me, it's all been gifts today. Ginormous, healthy, clean your pipes gifts.
I got nothing you guys.
Like I said, this isn't doom and gloom. I am not without hope. I can't see the silver fucking lining but I know it's there, it's just cloudy AF right now.
So, here's the deal. I'm just gonna do this day. I'm going to try not to take a nap. But...we'll see. I guess if I do, it just needs to be earlier than it usually is so that it doesn't infringe on my actual zzzzzzzzzzzzz time.
Yeah, gonna wing this MF today.
And so on that note, send me good juju. I need it. You can send Reiki too, I've dove down that rabbit hole of late and it's helping. Juju, Reiki, energy...the good stuff. I'm open.
Be Blessed.
Love & Light,
Neecie
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