Focus on Gratitude

Good Morning,

Ok, well let me start by saying I did all the things yesterday and it felt great.

I fell asleep good but had a time staying asleep until about 1:00. Then it was a straight shot through til my alarm went off at five. 

I got right up and I’ve been hitting my morning routine.

I am nervous about the job but also very grateful.

My focus always needs to be directed back to gratitude.

I still haven’t heard anything back from the part time job I applied for so I may have to apply for a different one.

I was thinking Ulta but that’s no good. I’d spend all my money. I may try Home Depot and/ or Lowe’s. 

But for now, I need to make a list of my evenings so I don’t crash out right away.

Ok, well so far so good.

I hope you all have a great  day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Sunday Thoughts

Good Morning,

I was a lazy beast this morning but I did not go to bed until around 1:00. I actually did something yesterday and it was fun.

I drove out to my sister's place to feed her pup and to get her outside in case she needed to do her business and then I went to where my sister was and hung out with her and her friend for a bit. It was a fun. My sister was cracking me the hell up.

Then I went and got my daughter from where she was and yeah...I watched an episode of Grey's because I was too hyped up to sleep right away.

Look at this picture of my sister's beautiful, sweet girl and me. I love this so much.

My sister's dogs, Chatty and Trickle (who has crossed the rainbow bridge), always have been so happy to see me. It's like my son's pup, Trout (also crossed), they make you feel so loved.

I can't imagine not having that kind of love in my life.

You all know, I write about that love often but we spent some quality time together.

I was grateful for the change in routine. I feel better today and I think it's directly related to that.

I'm not going to write much more than that for today. I have so much to do to get ready for working this week.

This is it, ya know? Here we go.

Whenever I say here we go, it reminds me of a girl I went to grade school with. Her boyfriend would wait for her at the bus stop after school and we would all start singing, "Here we go Debbie, Here we Go". God, we were fucking assholes.

Assholes.

Alright, well I gots to go.

Bear with me this week as I navigate this new chapter, I may not be able to write as I get comfortable with my new schedule.

But at last. This is the beginning of the end of this recent chapter. 

Yes!

Ight. Have a great day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Budget Blues

Helloooo,

Saturday. Next Saturday if I haven’t been hired for a second job yet, I will be so happy. I will have finished my first full week of work. Yay!

I’m tired this morning. I haven’t been wearing my Fitbit again. I don’t know if it’s laziness or just being frustrated with the whole sleep thing. 

I want one of those rings they have now. They have a cheaper one, one that’s not an Oura. Those Oura rings are so expensive and you also have to pay for the app on a monthly basis.

So when I looked at my budget and a payback schedule for all this debt, I technically don’t need to get a second job but I’m still gonna do it because my goal is to have all debt but the loan paid off by December 31st. You know, of this year.

The loan would take another year based on working part time as well as fulltime and I’m on board with 18 months of this shit but I have to stick to it my budget. I also believe that miracles can happen but you can’t live your life based on believing in them. I believe that manifestation comes when you back your vision with action.

My credit is fair right now but even with the payoffs of all this crap, it’s going to dip because I plan on getting rid of most of the cards as I go. Not all of them just in case there’s an emergency but the interest rate and fees on this stuff is ridiculous. The higher limit cards are the ones I’m planning on keeping but I’ll be calling and seeing if I can get the annual fees waived and the interest rates lowered and if they say no, then it’s by by cards.

The system is set up to keep us in debt and I need to make those fuckers my bitch instead of being the bitch.

It’s good to have a plan anyways.

Making bathbombs today.

Manifesting mula, no debt and enough money to have my poop in a group.

Yeah baby!

I got the budget blues going on baby

Got the budget blues so hard

Got‘em so bad wanna yell fuck it 

And kick’em in their budget ass nards

Aren’t I talented?

I hope you all have an amazing day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light, 

Neecie

With Reason & Intent

Good Morning!

Ah. The job. It went very well. It’s a lot in terms of what I’ll be doing. But I know by what I went through last that I can do this.

I deserve to do this. I deserve to have this. This is a major opportunity for me.

Just believe.

Interestingly, my Grey has been running around like a maniac all morning. I think she’s not as bad as I fear. I fear the worst. The reason I’m so militant about not wanting her to suffer is that I’ll never forget going over to a new friend’s house and we were in her backyard and all of a sudden, this dog walks by us. Walks is too kind of a word. The dog shambles slowly past us. He w listed to one side as he walked. He was emaciated and his tail hung low. I couldn’t believe he was even able to stay standing. I was told he was blind too. I was horrified. There was nothing about this dog that said, “I’m ok.”

My friend told me that it was her son’s dog and he didn’t even live with her anymore but he had forbidden her to put the dog to sleep.

He couldn’t handle it.

And I remember thinking, “ You not being able to handle it is nothing compared to what you’re putting on this dog to handle.”

My sister has had cats and dogs over the years and I’ve watched her care and love for them and then seen her come to the moment when she’s had to make that decision. It’s fucking awful, it’s the worst thing in the world, but she’s made that decision out of love. Love for her animals. 

I just have never been able to forget that one dog I wrote about, my friend’s son’s dog. He was a ghost dog. He was half in the other world already. And that’s the image that haunts me when I think about what’s happening with Grey.

But she is not there. I watch and I love her and I’ll know.

So.

The job.

Yes, it is good. 

See short below.

Everything happens with reason and intent even if we can’t see it.

Ok, well this will be my last Friday not working for many moons to come.

I’m hoping to make the most of it.

Have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend.

Be Blessed. 

Love & Light,

Neecie

A, B & C

Good Morning!

I hope all of you are well.

I woke up at 5, only got 5 hours of sleep but just couldn’t bring myself to go back to sleep. There is much to do in preparation for tomorrow.

So much to do.

And I'm doing it. The past 2 hours have not been wasted. Just keep going is the theme of the day. I know myself well enough to know that:

A: I'll burn out around 3

B: If I eat on the couch and turn on the TV, I'll be done for the day

C: If I take a nap, I'm fucked

So there you have that. 

And so do I. As it is written, so shall it be. And so, the only thing I can do anything about is A. I will burn out, it's true.

At that point, I want to be mostly done for the day, except to run some errands and to get everything ready for tomorrow morning.

I can't believe it's really here and that it's really happening.

I'm also hoping to get a call tonight if the person is able as the person will have tea. And may need support.

And I am here to give it.

Here is today's short:

Ok, on that note, onwards I continue.

I hope you all have an amazing day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

So Close

Hola and Guten Morgan,

Ugh, the struggle is real although I did manage to do one good thing so far; I drove to work at the time I’ll usually have to leave and timed it. I’ll need to leave at 7:38AM to get to work with enough time to sit at my desk and clock in exactly at 8:00AM.

And ever since then, it’s been deflation.

I have relatively nothing saved towards rent or bills for the next 3 or so weeks and unemployment will stop next week.

The problem is my credit cards. I have been paying them plus the interest each month and I’m so close to being maxed out on all of them that I literally have nothing, other than what my daughter has given me so far.

We are so very close. And of course, the problem with starting a new job is always that you don’t get paid right away. I won’t know until Thursday, where I’m at in the pay period. I will find that out.

Not asking anyone who reads this, I post about what’s going on and that’s all.

I’m gonna just do me today as I did yesterday. I go a lot done, got some exercise in and stuck to my meal plan for the day so you know…we’re good. We’re good.

I didn’t sleep great but I slept better.

I also go in 64 oz of fluids which, gotta tell ya, makes a huge difference.

I had a dream about one of my brothers last night. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him, it was weird.

Alright, well now is not the time to panic, now is the time to keep moving. So that’s exactly what I’m gonna do.

I wish you all a good day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

I Own Me

Good Morning!

I’m a literal shit show this morning; literal and figurative. 

Not even a full 3 hours of sleep. I am all over the place.

I don’t want to write from that place though.

There are two ways through today; giving in and feeling sorry for myself or hitting it as hard as what’s within my capability to do and going to bed tired, without having had recent caffeine or time spent in my phone.

Man, fuck my phone.

Fuck my fucking phone.

Ok. Well I need to keep moving as I am on my fucking phone in order to write this post. Time to quit that.

This panic and anxiety I’m feeling? It’s awful but it doesn’t own me. I own me.

I hope you all have an amazing day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie