Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!

You know, I used to question whether I should even celebrate this day. Because what it’s based on is a lie. It was a narrative based on something that we don’t even know if it was true or not.

I believe the original Thanksgiving happened and perhaps people did have good intentions, the people that were there. I have no idea.

One could spend an entire lifetime being completely baffled by history and the way we treat each other. But I have chosen to spin my own narrative on this day itself without taking history into account because I live my life daily in a way that tries to spread love and acceptance and equality for all. 

I just try as hard as I can to focus on what I’m grateful for. I try to do that every day, but on this day, I choose to look at it as a culmination of all the things I am so grateful for.

Today, I will be with my family and that means everything. My son is hosting and I think that that is absolutely fabulous. Yeah, I am grateful we will all be together.

As a family, we have suffered some pretty heavy losses in the last couple years and being together is important now. More important than ever.

I posted the final gratitude short on my YouTube channel. I need one more subscriber to get to 600 subscribers. My tiny little channel has grown this year and for that, I am so grateful.

Here is today’s post:

I hope you all have an amazing day. If you have worries, or you toil, or your heart is heavy for some reason, my wish for you is that you could let it go for one day and focus on what you’re grateful for. It’s hard. I am in tears as I write this, but I am going to try and focus on gratitude. I am going to enjoy the time with my family. 

Again, happy Thanksgiving.

Be blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Not Much About Much

Hi Everyone,

Sorry for the no post day or two. I just sortof deflated. Reality set in and I flaked out a bit. But I am OK now. 

It snowed! Finally.

Now it is feeling like Minnesota. While I wish we would've gotten more, I'll take it.

My daughter and I are gonna go play in it a bit later tonight. We have a park right behind our parking lot and I can see all the dogs going out to play in it. I wish I had a dog.

Whatevs, hopefully someday.

Somehow Yahoo became my default search engine and I had to go through a whole thing to get it off of my stuff.

Fuckin' technology man.

Anyways, I don't have too much to write. I'm off today. Not bad, but off and now is NOT the time to be off.

So anyways, just wanted to check in. 

Tomorrow will be the last day of my gratitude shorts. I am starting to get interactions in the form of comments but I think some of them are bots.

Whatever.

Anyways, maybe I'll feel better tomorrow so I'm out for now and I will be back then!

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

 

Let Me Have My Moment

 

Good Morning!

Well, I got up and suffice to say I've been at it. Got all my regular morning stuff done, am blogging and will be moving on to Unemployment and job search.

Per the now norm, I won't write everything out but while job search needs to be a part of my daily routine, let's just say that if I do all I want to today, I can focus almost solely on job search for the rest of the week. So it'll be worth it to push myself today.

We all know I struggle with that but so be it.

Today I don't try, like Yoda I only do...no try.

I wish I could express the relief I'm feeling right now. Everyone is so quick to say, "you need to fnid a job."

I am aware.

But let me have my moment.

Let me sit in the relief and pride and feelings of accomplishment; let me reflect on what that can mean for me going forward.

And so that will be my day.

That will be my day.

Busy but on my terms and taking the time for so much gratitude and happiness in this moment of my life.

I hope you all have a great day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Distasteful

 

Hi Everyone,

And Good Morning!

Ok, so. Yesterday was a...I mean, it was bizarre and distasteful and overall not good. Amazing what a night of sleep will do for you.

Pumpkin came up and slept with us (my daughter slept with me last night) and she was ridiculously cute.

Lots of weird ass dreams but no bad ones. My daughter dreamt about mom. She came to her. I think my daughter needed that.

Today is just gonna be today.

Yes, there are plans but nothing written in stone so to speak.

Since I am not working, I have decided that rollerskating will happen on Wednesday nights. It's cheaper and they play old school rock. 

Part of what has made it hard for me to want to go on Sunday mornings is the music they play. Me no likey.

I'm kindof doing things haphazardly. Laundry. Dishes. I need to do the whole apartment because I let everything go this last week and a half but there are no excuses now.

I've been showering a bit obsessively now that I don't have to go back to that stinky trailer, I just want to feel clean.

I realized that I haven't felt truly clean in months. I gave myself a hair mask this morning and I'm going to take a bougie bath tonight because I didn't do it last night. Yesterday got away from me, I felt out of control almost from the time I woke up and what I mean by that is circumstances around me felt out of control and I didn't like it and so I gave up, did the couch potato thing. 

Today, I will not be doing that.

I am almost to 600 for subscribers. I'm so happy. This happened all on it's own. I owe a huge debt to Pumpkin for that because every time I make a short about her, I gain a subscriber or two and then people find out I'm not a cat channel and they like the other shorts I do and it's amazing.

I do intend to shoot one or two longform videos today.

And work on cleaning and projects and getting some bathbombs going.

I'm going to post my VisionList for the year too. I'll have to probably include a link so people can see it. So hopefully, tomorrow I'll be able to do that.

Alright, well loves, I'm outta here and on with it as they say. Today can be better. 

I think I might turn my phone off. I'm kindof over people today and although I want to be seeing people, I don't want to deal with anyone today because yesterday was too much. 

A good, productive day is what I need.

I hope your day is good.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Biscuits

Hi Everyone,

What was supposed to be a good, relaxing day didn’t turn out that way.

Whatevs.

I slept so good last night. And I took a nap today.

A friend of mine called me this morning and she’s one I don’t talk to often so I took the call. Nice to catch up. The rest of the morning was a bit of a shit show.

Pretty much can say at this point, I’ve had enough of the shit show. I have literally lived the shit show for the past six months. I am over the shit show.

But it’s been very nice to hear from people who have really nice things to say to me. You know, sticking with this job is not some spectacular feat and I get that. Normal people do it all the time. But I’m gonna give myself some grace here and some props and say that all the people telling me they’re proud of me, thank you. Because we all know, I am not normal. And while I sometimes think it would be nice to be normal and that it has some strange appeal, it really doesn’t. Sticking with this job and all that came with it, is a big fucking deal for me. It’s not my norm. I am proud of myself. And I am going to allow myself to have this moment. 

And then…we’ll just get on with it.

I’m not in a good head space today. Just had a weird conversation and I’m not sure how I feel about it. Obviously I DON’T feel good about it because it’s got me feeling a number of different emotions; at the person I had the conversion with and the person the conversation was about.

This is one of those times I have to let things sink in before reacting.

Can people just be happy?

Because I wanna be happy. My parade has been rained on for 6 fucking months and you know what? It’s MY fucking parade and if I want it to be sunny, everyone else can get on board or go away.

Hmph.

Now that we have that ascertained, I do believe I will get on with this weird fucking day.

I hope yours has been good and I will be back tomorrow.

Above is a very cute video of Pumpkin making biscuits.

When in doubt, make biscuits. ALWAYS make biscuits.

Be Blessed.

Love and Light,

Neecie

Turns Out…

I am here! At work. Early. For my last day. This can be my last day for the season or it can be my last day forever. 

It’s up to me and as y’all know, y’all who read this every day, you know I prefer the latter. 

I can’t believe I made it through all this. I have snot on my sleeve from crying in my car and they are tears of fucking gratitude bruh.

Grateful I made it through this and grateful it’s my last day.

So much stress will be gone. Yes, it will be replaced with new stressors but I got that.

I have to “got that.”

Besides learning that strong sucks but it’s necessary, I learned my value.

Turns out I have some.

So just gonna get through this day and then put this behind me.

Thanks for hanging in there with me as I traversed this latest chapter.

I hope you have a good day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie

Won’t Miss This

Good Morning!

One more day after today. Maybe I’m looking at this the wrong way, but I have to tell you that I am so relieved. It rained last night so the ground was wet and I don’t understand, I never will, given our weather, how many Minnesotans lose their minds when they’re driving In this stuff.

Like, stop.

Because I’m an old broad. My eyesight is not as good. It’s bad enough driving in the dark, but you add any moisture to the ground and the reflections from oncoming cars literally blind me.

Today, traffic was backed up and even on the back roads where I don’t usually see a lot of cars, it was one after the other and let me tell you driving on back. Roads is not fun, considering they’re not well lit and so when you have car after car, you have my bad eyesight, and you have all the reflection coming up. Suffice to say my drive was hell.

I won’t miss this at all.

I brought the wrong thing for breakfast or I mean my lunch because I Just grabbed it out of the freezer and it wasn’t what I thought it was. So eating should be interesting today.

Suffice to say I’m over that too.

Apparently, I’m over a lot today.

I have stuff to keep me busy all morning and part of the afternoon and then it’s cleaning.

So I don’t know if I’ll be here tomorrow or not.

Even though it would fuck me completely financially, not would be OK with me.

I am a crabby, bitch, I’m not going to deny it. I’m just trying to get through today.

Sometimes, that’s the best any of us can do.

All right, I hope you all have a really good day.

Be blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie