Pffffftttt. That was me yesterday and what I'm trying to come back from today. It's gorgeous out and I need to get out there and walk and breath in the air.
So, I didn't go to work today.
I handled the notice that the job would be ending ahead of time really well. I don't think it was driven by my boss. The owner of the company...I'm pretty sure it's him.
Whatever, not gonna say anything about him. I have barely had two words with him.
But, this is going to be weird because I'm not going to go into specifics. It goes back to my empathic shit. And I don't talk about that often anymore because few people truly understand what it means and how it plays out and all that.
I've said before, "I don't read people's minds."
Still true.
I don't see pictures of what they see in their mind, nor do I hear their thoughts. It's a feeling thing and sometimes it's dead on, sometimes I'm wrong but most of the time, it's more like a whisper that something or someone isn't right, or that they're being deceptive or hiding things.
I should further state that this is not the case with everyone I come in contact with. In fact, most of the time, it's relatively far and between.
But I was talking to someone yesterday and my whole body went into "warning" mode. And what this person was discussing was triggering. Not in a way that made me want to turn to old solutions, just in a way that said, "danger, get the fuck away."
And I have NO idea what it triggered beyond that but I got in my car to drive home and I was crying. I couldn't stop. Not sobbing but crying.
Look, I am changing. Some of the changes are big, some small and much of the time I stagnate in between the changes. But I don't regress anymore, which is more important as far as I'm concerned.
But I seem to be getting myself remotivated quicker these days if that makes sense.
I just want to say what's on my mind and we now live in a situation, at least in the states, where one must question if it wise to do so.
I've written about the um, you know, the fact that people should shut the fuck up on social media and I guess in a sense, that's eeked over here.
And I'm sure some people are surprised that outspoken Denise isn't going off.
Here is my thing about social media puking...dumping, whatever you want to call it, it's waste. It's stupid. First, you are announcing who you are and offering yourself up publicly. We are not yet in an authoritarian situation. Let's hope that we never do end up in one. But putting yourself out there, I don't know. That doesn't seem prudent at this juncture.
The second thing is that posting shit is not going to change anyone's mind. It's fruitless. It's exactly what "they" want us to do. And they want us to fight with each other too. It's keep us preoccupied and preoccupied is good.
The third thing, and this is BOTH sides of the pendulum, is that half the shit people post is inaccurate. Look, I don't know of any news outlet that prints the truth, the full truth and nothing but the truth but try to find one. Research what you fucking post.
I've literally told people stop scaring people. I don't know. I know so many people who are scared. I hate that for us. I refuse the fear piece. I refuse it because it keeps me immobile.
I'm no doomsdayer, and I'm not a worst case scenario person anymore. What I try to be is intelligent, ha - if possible, but hysteria and fear will keep you from living your life.
These things have been large on my mind for a bit of time now and I try not to let them distract me.
Make good choices. Arm yourself with whatever truthful information you can find. Write your congress people. Speak up by marching, speak up by action I guess is what I'm saying and I don't even know what that looks like. But the stupid ass posting on social media...it feeds them, it helps them achieve their agenda.
Use the opposition's standing on certain things while you still can. There are things that have not become illegal yet, things the opposition revere and hold on to as a right. Use that to your advantage.
Hope for the best, do what you can, but be prepared for the worst. That's all I'm saying.
I have thought for years that something had to change with the political body as a whole in this country. We have billionaires, for example, who became billionaires while Dems were in office too. I'm just saying...both sides are corrupt.
But the situation we find ourselves in now is a bit different isn't it? Yeah. Just a bit.
Right around the time, I desperately started reaching out to the silence, so that I could meet myself and start working through my "shit", the world got louder and louder.
It's difficult.
I have no idea where I fit in this world and I have no idea why I was put here on this journey. Not a single one of us asked to be born...at least I don't think we were. If I find out when I die, I'll try to find a way to let you all know the why. Seriously, life is imposed upon us.
I know that it's viewed by some to be soft to wish for Utopia, to wish for a world where we all had the same things, where we shared, where we approached each other in love, where there was not hate, power, greed or crime. Just love. And that we celebrated each other's differences but didn't worship some and find others invaluable.
John Lennon said it best...imagine.
I don't think that's soft. And if it does make me soft, then I feel sorry for the people who will never know what it's like to just love and not to covet and not have to win.
It's fear of losing what we covet that is a starting point for greed. And with greed comes power.
There is a dark side to humanity. There just is. It's nasty.
I have no idea why I wrote all this but...keep your head up, maybe save your rhetoric for when it might actually serve a purpose.
I'm just trying to wrap my head around today because yesterday was fucking weird and fucking off.
I wish you a good day.
Be Blessed.
Love & Light,
Neecie
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