Sometimes Silence Is...

Hello and Good Morning,

You guys, I got home last night and I vacuumed and then I pooped the hell right out. Done, just done.

I was so tired and so out of breath.

It's got to be residuals from the cold I just had. My daughter has been up all night hacking so I think that's residual's too.

I'm trying to stay off of FB. People are losing their shit. And they are posting all sorts of things, some I look up and they are either not correct at all or they are not quite what people are posting.

It's hard to be aware right now. Like, aware of the truth.

I hate politics and the politicians who go with them. All of them, both sides. 

And I hate the media and I hate social media.

When did people get so frickin' mean? And when did lying become OK? And please stop posting stuff that you haven't fact checked.

Instilling fear is not the way to light a candle under someone's ass.

It just isn't. 

I look at this stuff and I see what's being posted and I have friends who are literally getting off of FB because of the onslaught, and because of fear.

No wonder everyone is stressed the fuck out.

It's not that I don't care, I do. 

I am one fucking person, with no influence and no political power whatsoever. I wouldn't want any.

So for as long as I can, I am going to do me and I am still on this journey of trying to see where I can make a difference.

I lived in fear for so long; fear of myself and my addictions, fear of the unknown, fear of what people think of me, fear of how I look, fear of failure, fear...so you know, no, I will not take the heaping plate of fear that's being served.

I just won't.

I know some of my friends are waiting for Denise's big mouth to show up. It's not gonna. Sometimes silence is not weakness, just keep that in mind. Sometimes silence is contemplative, sometimes it's watchfulness, sometimes it's common sense.

So. I have a job interview today and I really should be getting ready. I need to dress nice and I need to do my makeup and hair and I don't want to.

It's just that kind of morning. But I have done my skincare. I meditated. I had to force those things but whatever.

Ugh, my clothes aren't going to fit. I've gotten so fat. Well I mean, I was still fat but this weight gain. I've lost about 2 lbs of the 9 or so that I gained back but it still sucks. Even 5 pounds can make such a difference.

But I'll figure it out.

I hope you all have a lovely day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie