Breathless

 Gooooooooood Morning Vietnam!!

Sorry.

I’m manifesting my Robin Williams this morning.

Actually, just the opposite, I’m kind of a dullard this morning.

I got in almost 8 hours sleep last night which is great but it seems like, not all the time, but as a general rule, when I sleep good, I have an incredibly difficult time getting up in the morning.

So I changed the alarm to 6 but of course, I couldn’t get back to sleep and so while I did get up late, I still had time to at least feed the cats, make myself presentable and get out the door and get here on time. 

I’m feeling bouts of light headedness and breathlessness. That has meant one of two things in the past; vertigo or bleeding ulcer.

The vertigo makes most sense because I recently had a cold and it’s my ears that I have to worry about most when sick and I was having those awful stabs of pain in my ears while sick.

So it’s most likely that, I’ve had some ringing in my right ear too.

The only time I had a bleeding ulcer was when I was going through that tooth stuff and I was eating baby aspirin like candy to try and kill the pain.

Anyways, I’m aware. On the driver over to work to today, I stuck to the furthest right lane just in case I felt myself going to far down the veil of light headedness.

It was fine and I’m fine now. 

So last night? I don’t know man. I tried and that’s worth something but all I could rouse myself to do was to apply for two jobs, give myself a facial and take a shower. I did some dishes too but yeah, that was it.

I was pooped.

I don’t have time to be pooped.

This is something I have to work on, pushing through that. And I mean, last night was not a total bust, I didn’t take a nap, I made it to 8:45 until I said, “Ok, I gotta do this. I have to lay down and go to bed because I’m wiped the fuck out.

I know I was up a couple times but…it’s OK. I kept going back to sleep and that’s the main thing.

The day before yesterday, I got in 7 glasses of water and yesterday I got in 8 so my body is adjusting and when I woke up last night, it was usually because I had to pee.

I think it’s normal to have an “adjustment” period after going back to work. I’m just trying to work my way through it and figure out how this will all work for me.

I feel like the one thing I have to prioritize is that hour before bed; allowing myself to wind down so my body can catch on and then to be in bed by 9.

It’s hard.

It’s hard sitting still, it’s hard concentrating on whatever it is I choose to read each night, it’s hard to stay off of my phone.

I always say balance is an illusion, and it is, but it also a dance and not always a graceful one. We must first learn the steps and trip awkwardly over our feet, right?

So I look at it like this, at least I’m on the journey.

If I persist, I will get there.

Alright, well, I gots to go.

Hoping I will stay busy today.

Tomorrow, I’m only here until 1:30, then I have an interview at 2:30 and then I can go home so I’ll have an extra hour to rock things out.

I’d like to have the apartment as clean as possible by Friday because of the inspection I mentioned yesterday. 

I still have to check with my roomie to see if Pumps can go for a visit all day Friday.

I love that little kitty so much.

I love all the kitties.

And all the puppies.

And all the animals.

Be Blessed!!

Love & Light,

Neecie