The Object of My Ire

 Hi Lil' B'Boos,

Something my daughter says, it's one of those inside things.

Well. Turns out y'girl is fighting a battle this morning. Not a battle that has anything to do with my addiction issues. I don't even know how long I've been sober this time around, but I do know that it was a year somewhere in the end of April.

But all things can eventually lead to that path again if I don't stay vigilant. 

The battle I am fighting is a very strong worded war between me as I was before DBT and the me I am now. 

I want to wage war. Nah, maybe not war but I want to send a strongly worded warning.

I think me after DBT will win because the object of my ire is...nothing, nada. 

The object is not a threat to me personally. Where the old Denise comes into play is fear of the object hurting someone I love. 

But the someone I love is an adult, is strong and capable of their own decisions. And I have to trust that.

Enough said.

Speaking of Denise before DBT, there are patterns emerging that have nothing to do with the aforementioned nada.

Laziness, depression, inability to sleep.

The big problem with sleep is that of course, as late spring, early summer approaches, it's hot out. The air isn't on yet because it's not been too unbearably hot but even when it is, my room just simply doesn't cool down. I have become more sensitive to the cold except when it comes to sleeping. I prefer a temp of around 45-50 to sleep in.

And then I also struggle because I'm no longer taking the edibles...due to the depression I have realized they have set off in me.

I don't need to write it all out, my regular followers are well aware of my patterns.

Thank the Gods that I can see them now clearly. That I have awareness. 

Because I'm not spiraling by any means, but ya know, if left unchecked, I could spiral.

I am dedicating today to all the shit I've been putting off with my business. I do have to stop to go shopping for an interview outfit and I am meeting a friend for coffee at 12:30.

I want to go to bed tonight knowing I have packaging picked out, pricing on my website, a new banner for my YouTube channel and having done some research on how to create an intro to my vidoes.

Ok, so.....

It's sunny out, it's breezy, it's only gonna get to 70 so no excuses girlfriend. 

I'm off to the races and imma win that motherfucker today.

BOOM!

Have a great day, be blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie